Screens are part of our world and they’re here to stay. While screens can have some positive impacts on kids’ lives, they also wreak a lot of havoc. Grown-ups in kids’ lives must help them develop healthy relationships with digital media. Though kids may not have screen time at church, consider sharing this helpful information with families. You’ll help equip kids’ grown-ups to disciple their tech-savvy digital natives at home.

The Problem With Screen Time

A 2024 study found that preteens (ages 8-12) averaged 5.5 hours per day on screens, and teens averaged 8 hours per day. That’s a huge chunk of kids’ days! Research supports what you may observe in your own circles: As screen time increases, so does risk of anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, aggressive behavior, cognitive and language delays, and loneliness.

Additionally, kids who routinely turn to screens to deal with big emotions miss out on developing healthy coping strategies. Ultimately, that decreases kids’ resilience when life gets hard.

Here’s some additional research on problems arising from screen time from the American Psychological Association.

The Benefit of Screen Time

Screens do offer some benefits, though—especially when they introduce educational content and are paired with adult interaction to help kids process what they learn. Plus, screens allow connection to distant friends and family (and to immediate family members who aren’t currently with them).

It’s not realistic or even fully beneficial to eliminate screens from kids’ lives. Instead, kids’ grown-ups must equip kids to be thoughtful in how and when they engage with screen time.

Screens are useful tools when they have limits—just like a hammer is a useful tool in certain situations. But kids and grown-ups need wisdom to direct when screens are a good fit for a situation and when they need a different tool entirely.

Conversations about engaging with screens can give grown-ups an avenue to teach other important life skills, too: like making tough choices, discerning what we need and don’t need, checking in with ourselves, and coping with emotions in healthy ways.

Lifetree Kids YouTube channel offers digital content for families to enjoy at home. You’ll find lots of VBS favorites! Check out some songs or videos today!

How to Help Kids Navigate Their Digital World

#1. Help kids develop awareness of how things impact them.

Reflect with kids on how they feel after certain activities. You could say things like…

• “I noticed you ran around the yard a lot this afternoon. How did that make you feel?”
• “How did you feel after your rest time?”
• “What did you notice feeling after you watched a show this afternoon?”

You can also share your own experiences: “I’m going to put my phone away for a while. I noticed that I’m starting to feel tired and yucky, and I think my body wants to take a walk. Want to come with me?”

Verbally processing how you feel can help kids connect causes and effects, which teaches kids that certain choices lead to certain outcomes. From our “tool” perspective, linking cause and effect helps kids consider which tools are good for which tasks. With screen time, this is so important. As we help kids process what they need and how they want to feel, kids may start to see the benefits of setting boundaries with screens for themselves.

Did you know that Group’s all new All Together Sunday School lesson books incorporate a feelings chart into each Bible-based lesson? This fun resource sets a routine that invites kids to identify feelings and share them with trusted grown-ups at church, too! 

 Plus, check out an example from Sesame Street of what a conversation about screen time breaks could look like with kids. Thanks, Elmo!

#2. Talk to kids about what they’re watching.

When possible, it’s great to be near kids while they have screen time so you can ask questions that help them reflect on what they’re seeing. You could simply say,

• “Oh, I wonder what that character is feeling right now.”
• “What do you think it would be like to be able to fly like that?”

These questions build kids’ empathy and imagination muscles. These natural conversations allow you to help kids process any difficult content that comes up.

Encourage kids to consider whether what they see is true or not true. Teach kids to wonder how bias plays into things they see on screens. For example, while watching a commercial, you can let kids know someone paid money to show the commercial to them. Together, talk through…

• who might have created the commercial,
• why they wanted people to see it,
• what they hope people do as a result, and
• if the commercial convinced you of anything.

It’s ideal to be with when kids when they have screen time, but grown-ups can’t always be that present or tuned in—that’s OK. You can check in with kids later about what they watched or played that day, how it made them feel, and if they noticed anything that didn’t sit well with them. These conversations help kids develop critical thinking skills about what they’re watching during screen time.

Additionally, equip kids with biblical values to look for in what they watch. The fruit of the Spirit is a great place to start. You could ask something like,

• “Did you see messages of love, joy, peace, or patience in that reel?”
• “What good choices and not-so-good choices did you see? What happened as a result?”

Need help teaching preschoolers about the fruit of the Spirit? Check out this free lesson and coloring page! Plus, Team Family resources naturally integrate biblical themes into each season of the year for families!

#3. Create a family media plan.

Most likely, kids won’t be able to set totally healthy boundaries with screens on their own, even if they see some of the benefits. (This is often true for us adults, too!) So help kids with screen time limits by setting clear and consistent boundaries.

This could mean creating a media plan for each member of the family or having house media rules. If you’re able to include kids in developing the screen time rules, they’ll typically have more buy-in. That doesn’t mean that kids get the final say, but discussing how values shape their family’s boundaries builds kids’ critical thinking.

Some examples of house rules could include…

• no phones at the table or in bedrooms.
• screen usage stops at a certain time in the evening.
• homework and chores must be done before screen time.
• the whole family takes a break from screens on certain days or evenings.
• building intentional space for enjoyable activities that don’t involve screens.

Include kids in the reasons for the limits, help them consider how limits benefit them, and model healthy boundaries with screens yourself!  All these things help kids thoughtfully consider what role they want screens to play in their lives.

Check out these articles for additional information about screen time and children.

• 15 Does and Don’ts of Mental Health Care in Children’s Ministry
• 6 Tips to Reduce Children’s Screen Time (Mayo Clinic Health System)
• Screen Time and Children (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry)
• Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Child Development: An Updated Review and Strategies Management (National Library of Medicine)

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Mandy Milner is a licensed professional counselor who lives and works in State College, Pennsylvania. Mandy received her MA in community counseling from Slippery Rock University. She has worked at six different universities in counseling and other student-focused roles. Mandy is a contributor for Team Family, Group’s new family ministry resource. When Mandy is not at work, she enjoys reading a great book, sipping tea, knitting, visiting new places, and living ordinary moments alongside family and friends.