The noise and excitement that delight some kids might be too much for others. Learn how to help kids who feel overstimulated in your children’s ministry.

Praise music blares. Stage lights shine brightly. Kids jump and bump into each other as they excitedly do the song motions. At first glance, everyone’s having the time of their lives. Your VBS or children’s church worship service is going just as planned—filled with all the Jesus-praising energy you knew kids would love.

But then you look closer.

On the outskirts of the enthusiastic crowd is a little girl. Her hands aren’t doing the motions—they’re covering her ears. And she’s not jumping around like the other kids—her body’s on alert. The tears in her eyes make one thing clear: This environment is too much for her.

Maybe you’re worried. Or maybe you feel guilty because your first thought was, Seriously? She’s doing this again!?

Regardless of your initial reaction, you know you need to help her. But how?

Dr. Virginia Brennan and Dr. Valerie Davidson have great insights for you! These seasoned leaders became friends through a doctorate program. Together they cohost the KidMin with Dr. Val & Dr. Virginia podcast, are the brains behind kidmindoctor.com, and regularly speak at ministry conferences and events. Here on childrensministry.com, they’ve shared great kidmin insights in articles like “Help! My Teen Helpers Aren’t…Well…Helpful.”

In this article, Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia offer practical tips to help you serve kids who are overstimulated or who just need a break from the hustle and bustle of children’s ministry.

The Doctors Are In!

Here’s today’s question:

Dear Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia,

Our VBS program and children’s church services are loud and exciting—and most kids love it! But there are several children who get overstimulated by all the hoopla and noise. They cover their ears, withdraw from the group, and sometimes have emotional outbursts. How can we lovingly serve these kids, too?

#1. Offer resources and safe spaces.

Helping kids who get overstimulated doesn’t mean you need to overhaul everything about your usual, lively programming. Instead, you can offer simple resources to help kids engage with what you’re already doing, or you can provide safe spaces for a temporary break.

For example, Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia share that kids who are sensitive to loud music during group worship might be able to participate if earplugs or sound-dampening headphones are available. Some overstimulated kids may simply need a tool to help them engage.

Other children, though, might need a break from the group or activity entirely. For these kids, Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia recommend providing a “safe, alternative place…that is quieter and less busy.”

Some churches might choose to create a dedicated sensory room, but it’s OK if your church doesn’t have a spare room and extra volunteers to staff it. A safe space could simply be a quiet corner where a teen helper can sit beside an overstimulated child. Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia say that safe spaces could even be “hanging out in the hallway with designated leaders.”

In any alternative space, Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia encourage kidmin leaders to have calming activities that relate to the Bible lesson. That way, even kids who need a break can hear and engage with God’s word.

Thinking about incorporating a sensory room in your ministry space? Read how our friends (and Team Family contributors) Kathie and Kennedy Phillips created a sensory room for their church’s Rainforest Falls VBS. Plus! Kim Botto shares simple ways to create sensory-safe spaces in kids ministry.

#2. Be flexible…and ask volunteers to be flexible, too.

You work hard to place volunteers in intentional roles for your VBS program and Sunday school classes. You read their applications, consider their gifts, and do a whole lot of praying.

After hours of assembling your volunteer puzzle, it might be tempting to insist that apprehensive kids do the activities you worked hard to staff. After all, you don’t really want to ask the games volunteer—who just told you how much he loves his role—to sit on the sidelines with a nervous child.

But remember: Some kids have intense sensory sensitivities to noise, texture, or smell that make certain activities unpleasant or even distressing for them. Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia urge kidmin leaders: “Never force a child to participate in an activity if they are not comfortable with it.”

Instead, be flexible with volunteer scheduling. Volunteer teams can rearrange and spare a few helpers to be with kids who need to opt out of the main activity.

Dr. Virginia shares a great story about how her team’s flexibility helped a sensory sensitive child thrive at VBS: “It very quickly became apparent that the child would need extra support throughout the week of VBS. Volunteers were rearranged and a one-on-one buddy was provided for days two through five of VBS. Leaders were flexible with the schedule and allowed the child to skip rotations that became dysregulating…By the end of the week the child loved VBS and had developed great relationships with volunteers!”

Holding your volunteer plans loosely isn’t easy, but Dr. Virginia’s VBS testimony proves it’s worth it. Being flexible might be the best, most tangible way to show God’s love to an overstimulated child—and that’s not a stretch.

Read this article to hear more from Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia about serving kids who won’t participate.

#3. Remember your ultimate goal.

According to Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia, “The goal of VBS (or any kids’ ministry) isn’t for every child to complete every rotation and every activity. The goal of VBS is for children to hear the Gospel, have fun, and feel safe.”

Don’t get us wrong. The activities you plan for your children’s ministry are important. At Group, we’re devoted to creating interactive lessons, games, and crafts that help kids experience Bible truths in tangible and life-altering ways. By learning Scripture through experiences, experts note that kids understand God’s word more deeply. Your lessons, games, and crafts are indeed valuable tools—but they’re not in themselves the goal of children’s ministry.

The purpose of these activities is to help kids grow a vibrant friendship with God.

For some kids, “wow”-inspiring object lessons and high-energy games are precisely what cause Bible knowledge to seep into their hearts. But for the kids who cover their ears and retreat when the class gets lively, showing Jesus’ love might look more like this: a comfortable seat in the corner, a pair of headphones, and a one-on-one volunteer buddy to be a patient friend.

To a kid who feels overstimulated, these actions whisper, “I see you, and God sees you, too.”

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Meet the Experts!

Dr. Virginia Brennan serves as a kids’ ministry director in Florida. She has a passion for equipping adults with the tools to disciple children well. She speaks at conferences and enjoys investing in children’s ministry leaders. Virginia has a M.A. and Ed.D. in Christian education, with a focus on child development and spiritual formation. When Virginia isn’t podcasting and blogging, you can find her at theme parks with her husband and two kids.

 

Dr. Valerie Davidson has served in Christian education and children’s ministry for over 25 years. As a writer, conference leader, and cohost of the KidMin with Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia podcast, Val has a heart to equip leaders to engage deeply with the Word of God, teach, and lead with clarity and purpose. Val is a fan of theme parks, Star Wars, the em dash, and the oxford comma and can usually be found with a London Fog desperately writing in a coffee shop.

 

Check out their website, www.kidmindoctor.com, and find additional resources at https://linktr.ee/kidmindoctor.