Is your ministry trauma-informed? Check out these 4 focus-areas to make your church a healing, healthy space for all families.

There’s a strong probability that families you’re ministering to today have experienced trauma in some form. This is where the mental health movement known as trauma-informed care can intersect with children’s ministry.

“Trauma-informed care [in mental health circles] means treating a whole person, taking into account past trauma and the resulting coping mechanisms when attempting to understand behaviors and treat the patient,” writes Mellissa Withers, Ph.D., in “Trauma-Informed Care and Why It Matters” (Psychology Today, posted July 6, 2017).

We may never know what people have experienced before they arrived on our ministry doorstep. But we can create an atmosphere that communicates “sanctuary” for everyone. We can create an environment that feels safe, welcoming, accepting, and secure. A place where the many who have experienced trauma can find respite and solely focus on their relationship with God.

So here are four focus-areas of the trauma-informed care movement that can shape your ministry into a sanctuary for families.

Focus Area #1: Setting

We want our ministry to appear attractive and inviting. We can also work to develop a setting that creates a sense of safety.

For instance, a hospital sets up the waiting room with separate seats rather than seating linked together, allowing every individual to maintain a sense of personal safety by being more in control of personal space. Additionally, parking lots are well lit for safety. Security cameras, safety doors, and protocol such as ID bracelets are in prevalent use.

In Your Church

Most children’s ministries already place a premium on safety with our check-in systems and screening policies. We do these things to prevent abuse and keep kids safe. These systems also have the added benefit of creating a sense of safety for parents and children—if they know about the measures in place.

Do a walk-through of your children’s ministry area. Do you promote the fact that you take safety seriously? Note anything that might make a parent or child question the safety of your ministry—from broken toys to doors without observation windows to an unsupervised door leading to the street. Make certain your physical facility is safe, and you’ll communicate a sense of security to families.

Focus Area #2: Language

Churches need to be able to talk about struggle, suffering, and transformation in ways that communicate acceptance and healing. The Apostle Peter knew this. In his first letter to his congregation, he reminded his church that trauma was a normal experience for people and that they shouldn’t be surprised by it (1 Peter 4:12).

The Sanctuary Institute, founded by Dr. Sandra Bloom, teaches organizations to adopt shared language that allows staff and families to discuss trauma, its effects, and the recovery process. This language is used in trainings, meetings, therapeutic groups, and individual therapy. For instance, those working with children are “caregivers” and “supporters.” Additionally, the approach to understanding children’s behavior through a trauma-informed care lens has moved from asking, “What’s wrong with you?” (“Why are you being so bad?”) to “What happened to you?” (“What has caused you to cope with your current situation in this manner?”)

In Your Church

With your team, spot-check lessons for the language used to describe suffering, trauma, and behavior. How do the lessons explore the way God transforms us? Does the language reflect acceptance and grace (“God loves us even when we make wrong choices”), or does it communicate shaming and judgment (“You should know better than to….”)?

Additionally, brainstorm how your team can approach families, understanding that many have experienced traumas you may never know about. How can you weave the concepts of acceptance, healing, safety, and love into every interaction? Which ways can you adapt curriculum to teach God’s unfailing love and grace in the lessons? How can you work in conversation about the suffering we experience and how God knows our hurts? Teach volunteers to give children opportunities to talk about their challenges.

Ask kids how God might be working through those challenges. Lastly, look at your ministry terminology. Is it impersonal or familiar? Do you have “nursery workers” or “caregivers”? Do you “do” ministry to families? Or do you have a “partnership” with them? Consider what your language communicates.

Focus Area #3: Empowerment

One of the common effects of trauma is for people to lose any sense of control over the outcome of their life. A child who’s been subjected to abuse for as long as she can remember develops the assumption that this situation is normal and unchangeable. A child who is relentlessly bullied in school year after year sees that experience as the way life is—and always will be. This despair often bleeds into other areas of life.

Trauma-informed care providers are careful to communicate empowerment to the people they serve. They refer to clients as “survivors” and not “victims.” They help people learn new and healthier coping skills when facing negative situations. And they often give children a voice in what their treatment looks like.

In Your Church

Give children goals to aim for—and show them how to achieve those goals. Putting an ethical standard in front of children without teaching them how to achieve it creates frustration and reinforces a sense of being powerless. In children who’ve experienced trauma, misbehaviors are often unhealthy coping mechanisms for a situation they don’t like or that makes them uneasy.

Train your team to intentionally empower kids by showing them how to be successful and by having a voice in what’s happening. Use discipline situations to teach kids new and healthier ways to express their feelings. Use storytelling, role play, or discussion to illustrate how Bible people experienced hardship—and how God worked through the situation. Give children and parents the tools, examples, and support they need to succeed. Consider having your team take one of the Online Children’s Ministry Courses from Group U to help them navigate How to Talk to Kids and Their Parents About Tough Issues and Helping Hurting Kids.

Focus Area #4: Soul Health

Trauma-informed care places a high premium on the emotional health of its practitioners. This is because the staff’s emotional health impacts the emotional health of the clients. The opposite is true, too. Mental health professionals are constantly encouraged to monitor themselves for burnout and fatigue.

In Your Church

The account of Jesus visiting Mary and Martha’s home reminds us of the tension between serving and knowing Jesus. It’s a mistake to read the story and conclude that we have the choice of being a “Mary” or a “Martha.” Ministry demands we imitate both women, with a bias toward Mary. So ask yourself: In what practical ways do I prompt my teams (and myself) to invest in their relationship with God? How do I ensure my team members have scheduled respite from serving? When do they have time to worship? When was the last time I personally took a break or sat through worship?

Larry Shallenberger is associate vice president of compliance at Sarah A. Reed Children’s Center and the author of Lead the Way God Made You (Group).