The Common Questions on Sexuality That Kids Ask at Each Age
As children grow, they have more and more questions surrounding their sexuality. Here are common questions for each age and ways that you can respond appropriately.
The Common Questions on Sexuality That Kids Ask at Each Age
Kids Ages Birth to 3 years
How Children Understand Sexuality:
Little ones have a whole new world to discover. Discovering their bodies is part of that process. Expect questions such as “What is that?” “Is that a part of me?” and “Why am I different from her?”
Ways To Respond:
Above all else, children need to know their bodies are OK. Use the correct terminology for all body parts. Help children accept their God-given bodies. Don’t react squeamishly or negatively when changing diapers or during potty training, because this attitude teaches children that certain parts of their body are shameful or dirty.
Kids Ages 4 to 5 years
How Children Understand Sexuality:
Children this age recognize and become curious about anatomical differences. They’re more aware that some people are boys and some are girls. They desire more detail to questions such as “Where do babies come from?” “Why am I me?” and “Why are you, you?”
Ways To Respond:
Read books about babies and baby animals. Help children understand a family’s love and care for them. Teach children the biblical aspect of sexuality, and explain why God designed them differently. Explain good and bad touch of others. Reinforce correct body terminology.
Kids Ages 6 to 8 years
How Children Understand Sexuality:
Primary-age children are beginning to reason. Kids are concerned about their bodies and and some wonder about sexual matters. They need honest, accurate answers to their questions. Kids want to know “why” and “how.” They ask questions such as “Why did God create us this way?” “How do you really make babies?” and “Can I play ‘doctor’ or ‘house’?”
Ways To Respond:
Tell primary children that our sexuality is a normal gift from God. Celebrate with children that God made people female or male, and emphasize the God-given value of both men and women. Give straightforward answers to children’s questions. Remind them that if someone touches them inappropriately, they should tell their parents or a teacher. Introduce sex education resources such as books and videos.
Kids Ages 9 to 11 years
How Children Understand Sexuality:
Kids at this age are either going through or are on the verge of puberty. They often compare their physical development to their peers’ appearance. Kids often feel embarrassed or abnormal because changes in their bodies make them feel insecure. Older kids have an increased interest in people of the other gender. They ask questions such as “How do I deal with these changes?” “How should I feel about them?” and “Am I normal?”
Ways To Respond:
Initiate formal Christian sex education. Help kids and parents build trust and listening skills. Provide parent-approved classes to prepare older kids for puberty. Stress that puberty is normal and occurs at different rates. Balance peer pressure, healthy self-esteem, and self-responsibility. Explain that temptation is normal, but emphasize that abstinence until marriage is a good part of God’s plan. Underline God’s grace and power as well as your availability and support.
Looking for more teaching tips? Check out these ideas!
