7 Tips for Responding to Bullying in Your Ministry

Consider these seven concrete, practical steps to thwart bullying and to build a caring community in your ministry.

While schools have come under scrutiny because of violent incidents, churches often feel exempt from having to deal with the bullying issue. Church is supposed to be a safe place, right? But the truth is that bullying happens wherever kids are. As a children’s minister, you can take concrete, practical steps to thwart bullying and to build a caring community among the children you shepherd. Here’s how:

1. Don’t minimize or disregard instances of bullying.

Whether it’s reported by a child or observed by an adult, take the report seriously. Don’t indulge in looking the other way and thinking “Kids will be kids.”

2. Put in place no-nonsense anti-bullying procedures.

Your classroom code should be that every child is valuable and unique, and no child will be left out or hurt. Create a zero-tolerance atmosphere that says “No bullying allowed!”

3. Don’t resolve the situation yourself.

Doing so only reassures the bully that his or her target is weak.

4. Don’t tell the target to avoid the bully.

This doesn’t solve the problem—it’s only a superficial, temporary fix.

5. Don’t confront the bully or the bully’s parents alone.

Bullying is often a learned behavior, and during a confrontation you may find yourself demeaned by the bully or his or her family. Have a backup at the meeting.

6. Make sure a member of your ministry team gives special attention to the target.

Spiritual effects of bullying can be difficult to see, but they have their root in doubt that God is a loving protector. Symptoms may include an unwillingness to pray or read the Bible; critical talk about God, self, or other; and unusual or strange questions about God’s love for everyone. Be ready to meet these symptoms head-on, consistently reminding the child of God’s unchanging nature, love, and provision. Be ready to offer examples from your own life of God’s loving nature.

7. Emphasize that God loves each unique child.

Encourage every child to participate in a “Unique Talent Show” to strengthen children’s self-esteem. Celebrate the fact that God has given each child unique gifts and abilities.

These tips come from Group’s Emergency Response Handbook for Children’s Ministry. In this resource, you’ll find counseling advice, practical tips, and Scripture connections to reach out to kids and their families in love. For even more leader tips, check out these posts!