Why children swear and how to properly respond.
1-2 years
As children learn to communicate verbally, they pass through the
following stages: (1.) they imitate sounds; (2.) they imitate
simple words; (3.) they use single words meaningfully;
(4.) they imitate simple phrases; (5.) they put words together
into phrases; (6.) they respond appropriately to sentences and
questions.
At this age, children will seldom swear. However if they do,
they usually are repeating words that mean nothing to them.
Model desirable language patterns. Speak in a positive light.
Affirm children for using appropriate language. Never swear. If you
hear a child at this age swear, ignore the language. If a swearing
child doesn't get any attention, he or she won't have a reason to
continue using that kind of language.
3-5 years
Preschoolers broaden their experiences as they spend more and
more time with peers and adults other than family members. They
still imitate words they hear. They eagerly repeat new and
different words-such as swear words. Sometimes these children are
just repeating the words because they have heard them or they like
the sound of these swear words. At other times, children test
adults to see what response will result when they swear.
Sometimes they seek laughter and attention. Never laugh at a
child who swears, but don't over-react either. Remain calm. If a
child frequently swears, say, "Here's another way to tell us you're
angry" or "There are many other words we can use-such as
fiddlesticks, rats and shoot." This usually will stop the swearing.
If the swearing is a one-time affair, ignore it. If a child is
seeking a response and you don't give it, the swearing will stop.
Involving children in meaningful Bible-learning activities will
prevent swearing. When children are actively involved, they seldom
exhibit behavior that needs to be changed.
6-11 years
Children at this age are more and more interested in peer
approval rather than adult approval. Many of these kids spend much
time watching television. Both friends and the media may encourage
swearing and cursing. Also, children at this age are learning how
to respond to their negative feelings. They may see their
friends-or other adults-venting their anger by swearing. If
swearing is a one-time or infrequent behavior, the most effective
response is to ignore it.
A child who swears incessantly should be taken aside and dealt
with directly. Say to the child: "We do not use that kind of
language here. If you are upset about something, it is better to
say you're mad rather than to use those words." When you do
intervene, stress that the words are bad, not the child. Work on
preventing swearing by planning exciting, meaningful activities for
this age group.
Barbara Bolton is the co-author of Everything You Want to Know
About Teaching Children Grades 1-6. She is a curriculum consultant
and resource specialist in Ohio and has worked with children for
more than 35 years.
Copyright© Group Publishing, Inc./ Children's Ministry
Magazine
