Does your church have kids in its adult service? Consider these conclusions kids may make when they’re in a service not designed for them.

Kids in adult service.

It doesn’t sound too bad. After all if you hand out enough busy bags and give kids enough coloring pages and crosswords, they’ll stay relatively quiet throughout the service…right?

Perhaps.

But many of our well-intentioned strategies that help kids “make it through” an adult service actually teach kids the art of distraction, mindless self-absorption, and church irrelevancy.

Harmful Hidden Messages

Sticking kids into adult services might unwittingly hurt those kids’ faith through the hidden messages that the adult-focused services send. So consider these powerful messages kids are at risk of soaking up every Sunday:

“It’s OK for me to check out of church…I think I’ll do this for the rest of my life.”

Getting kids to sit still and be quiet is easily accomplished by giving them coloring pages and word puzzles designed to distract them into not being a nuisance.

But when we give kids random distractions—such as our well-intentioned busy bags and puzzles—we’re giving them an avenue to check out. We’re training kids to turn off their brains during worship time rather than inspiring them to participate.

The problem with this is that we’re inadvertently teaching kids to self-distract during church.

“I don’t really fit in here.”

In adult services, we sometimes view kids as disruption risks rather than worship participants.

Wanting kids to experience an adult service isn’t a bad thing. In fact, many children’s ministers argue it’s important for kids to attend adult services so there’s not an abrupt transition from the “fun and games” of children’s church to the seriousness of adult services. There’s merit in this. According to Dr. Tommy Sanders, director of the M.A. in Christian education children’s ministry program at Dallas Baptist University:

“Children socially learn when they see others older than them learning, singing, worshipping, praying, and reading scripture. Yes, children can learn with other children, but they miss the bigger picture of what church is and does when they are only with their peers.”

While there are clear benefits to children experiencing adult services, pastors and children’s pastors should proceed with caution. Because when an adult service makes no accommodations to include or speak to children, the message is loud and clear: You aren’t included in this. This isn’t for you.

Over time, a child’s sense of not belonging can evolve into the hardened belief that church doesn’t include him at all.

“The sermon has nothing to do with me.”

Worship service topics are often at a higher intellectual level than most children have the cognitive ability to process. Additionally, because children tend to have shorter attention spans, they can’t focus on a sermon for more than a few minutes. And they certainly won’t be able to draw conclusions about how the message applies to their lives.

After attending an adult service, fourth-grader Jenna said, “I went to my parents’ service, and I was always having to ask my parents to explain what our pastor was saying.”

Though Jenna’s parents may have walked away from church with spiritual insights and practical application points for their upcoming week, Jenna had a very different experience. All she remembers is confusion. She may even believe that church messages don’t apply to her.

“I must not be expected to worship because I can’t see or read the lyrics.”

Churches do a lot to make worship songs accessible to people. They may print lyrics in the bulletin or display them on screens up front. But if you’re 5 years old, there’s a good chance you can’t read a lot of the words.

And even for kids who can read, worship songs often contain challenging words or complex metaphors that they can’t decode yet.

Kids who are unfamiliar with a tune or the lyrics may stand up, but they probably won’t participate. The result is that kids think they aren’t expected to participate in worship because the songs don’t make sense to them.

“The Bible is hard to understand.”

Many churches rely on versions that aren’t easy to read—even for adults. Did you know the New International Version has a seventh-grade reading level? Even churches that use a common-language translation aren’t likely to tailor their Scripture readings so kids can understand.

For kids listening or reading along with parents during adult services, the passages they’re exposed to may not make sense. It may sound like a foreign language to their young ears. The result? Kids feel like they can’t understand the most important book of their faith.

“Faith is just for older people. Someday I’ll love Jesus.”

This message is often the cumulative effect of a variety of signals kids receive during their experience in adult service. When kids see that only grown-ups seem to understand and find meaning in the songs, message, and Bible, it’s a logical conclusion for them that faith is only for grown-ups.

Solutions for All Sizes

There are some significant obstacles inherent in having children attend a full adult worship service every Sunday. But as Sanders states, there are important benefits of having kids experience at least part of Sunday morning worship. So is it possible to strike a balance between teaching children at their own cognitive level, while at the same time letting them experience worship with a full, unified church body that includes all ages of Christians?

Quite simply, yes. Here are some options churches are using to do just that.

Incorporate Kids

One way to make the corporate worship experience relevant to kids’ lives is to include them in the fabric of it. Aylesford United Baptist Church in Nova Scotia strategized to involve kids in the larger worship service by including them in the worship band, providing a regular emphasis on children, and holding different family worship services throughout the year.

Other churches have kids making announcements, passing offering plates, reading Scriptures, singing in the choir, and more. When kids have regular avenues to participate, they learn that the service applies to them. They see that they are participants, not disruptions.

Mix It Up

Another solution is to have kids experience corporate worship with their parents for a portion of the service and then release them to small groups before the main message begins.

“I recommend that children go for the first portion of the multigenerational worship service and then dismiss them to their own age-group experience,” explains Sanders. “This offers the best of both worlds. Children are seen and valued, children can participate in the larger faith community, parents can worship with their children, and age groups receive ‘age-appropriate’ teaching.”

While this seems like a solution ideal for smaller churches, Sanders notes that his own church is fairly large and the system works well.

Second-grader Kyle attends church every week with his parents. He says he loves going off to children’s worship rather than staying for the adult sermon. “I think I learn more because it’s a story with pictures and they have lots going on,” says Kyle.

10 Quick Tips

1. Provide kids with weekly packets that are age-appropriate and have a direct tie with that week’s message.
2. Offer small items that’ll help children listen to the sermon. Work with your pastor in advance to plan for small manipulative items kids can hold and play with that have a connection to the message. For instance, kids can hold small plastic fish while the pastor talks about the feeding of the 5,000. Then kids can take their items home as a reminder of what they learned.
3. Make the sermon relevant by giving age-appropriate examples throughout. A mention of homework, cleaning a room, or playing soccer can perk up a child’s ears.
4. Give kids a simple word list with pictures and definitions of terms they’ll hear during the service. Encourage them to read through the list with their parents before the service starts.
5. Provide children’s Bibles so kids can look up Scripture references during the service.
6. Provide snacks for younger children in case they need a boost during the service. Older kids love peppermints. The hidden benefit is that these little treats help keep kids alert.
7. Ramp up your willingness to work with your pastor and families to make the adult worship experience engaging for kids. Make sure to explain why you’re making the effort.
8. Offer three discussion questions that relate to the week’s message that parents can talk about at home with kids.
9. Eradicate random word searches, coloring pages, and other busywork that’s solely meant to keep kids occupied.
10. Work with your pastor and leaders to find ways to include children in all aspects of the service.

Make a Life-Long Impact

Establishing worship as a lifelong, joyful habit within kids is every children’s minister’s dream. And making kids’ adult service experiences positive is key to developing an attitude of worship that’ll nourish kids’ souls and give them a faith that starts now—and lasts when they’re grown-ups, too.

Debbie Vallejo served as a children’s minister for 15 years.

Jennifer Hooks was the managing editor for Children’s Ministry Magazine.

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