Have you ever stepped back after a day or season of children’s ministry and wondered, “How can I engage those active boys (and girls) in my group?” You’re not alone. Our childrensministry.com team connected with a friend in ministry who’s been working out this conundrum for decades. Join us for an interview-based exploration of what Jeremy Spicer has discovered over the years.

Jeremy is author and founder at cmbible.org. Our team first met Jeremy at a national conference where he led a workshop on strategies for engaging boys in a Sunday school setting.

His insights stem from his diverse experience of nearly 30 years in ministry and school settings and from formative lessons learned as a rescue squad medic following his enlistment in the United States Army. With over two decades of “wearing many hats,” Jeremy funnels his observations—and a whole lot of heart—into the strategies he invites children’s ministers to try.

As the back-to-school season arrives, consider how you might weave these insights into your ministry’s approach to effectively engage boys—and all the kids you see at church.

(Psst! Be sure to download the free lesson at the end of the article for a head start!)

Take a Fresh Look at Approach and Environment

Jeremy had a lightbulb moment during school recess when he witnessed two boys lose their outdoor break time because they were wrestling—not hurting each other or other kids but simply engaging in “rough-and-tumble” play. He sensed something was off: These boys were being punished for natural childhood behavior.

This experience stirred up two perspective-shifting questions for Jeremy that he shares as an invitation to refresh a children’s ministry’s approach and environment. Pause for a few minutes to consider your responses to these questions and then take your thoughts with you as you continue with the three strategies.

1. If your classroom were designed by the boys in it, what would look different and why?
   
2. What if the behaviors we’re constantly correcting aren’t the problem but the way the classroom is set up?

Strategy #1: Use Numbers, Facts, and Visuals to Engage Boys

Jeremy has consistently observed boys drawn in by data, maps, interesting facts, and physical or mechanical details. When preparing a lesson for kids in your ministry, look at the Bible story and activities through an engineering or analytical lens. Consider what you could highlight from that point of view. Are there tools or structures in the story that lead kids to wonder, “How did this work?” or “Why did this work?”

Analyze the Details

For example, Jeremy highlights the story in 1 Samuel 24 where David spares Saul’s life and cuts a piece of Saul’s robe. This Bible story is rich with internal considerations to explore: How did David feel about the choice before him? Was there pressure from the opinions of his men? Those are great things for kids to wonder about, but don’t stop there!

Jeremy has engaged boys further by leaning into the physical aspects of the story—inviting discussion about what tool David might have used to cut Saul’s robe. Get kids to wonder, “What do you think David used to cut the robe?” and “Was it scissors? a knife? a sword?” Offering internal and external considerations for kids to connect with will ensure the Bible story resonates with all types of learners.

Realize Real-World Relationships

Jeremy has seen the same positive effect in showing kids maps and pointing to the real locations where David defeated Goliath or Jesus walked on water. Kids get to see the places on a real map where these true stories happened.

Another way to get at these engaging details, Jeremy says, is to ask yourself what a  “Pokémon card summary” of a Biblical figure would look like. If you’re learning about Ruth, consider: What were her strengths? What were her weaknesses? What challenges or danger was she facing? Illuminating these details for kids quickly builds context and interest. You could even create Pokémon-style cards to tap into an info-bite format many kids recognize and enjoy!

The Wins

• You’ll engage all your deep thinkers—kids who are curious about how and why things work. This can lead to fewer side conversations, fewer “I’m boreds,” and less fighting for focus.
• You’ll invite wonder about the deeper contexts of the Bible stories for greater life application.
• You’ll tap into Biblical contexts in a more physical way, which may be more accessible for many kids. This helps you account for kids’ varied learning preferences.

Tip: Capture kids’ attention with kid-friendly Bibles that are full of great visuals, fun facts or activities, and biblical figure bios!

Strategy #2: Engage Boys With Leadership and Responsibility

Jeremy aptly boils this strategy down to a mindset shift for adult leaders. It’s simple, but opens space for boys—and again, any kids—to make self-led discoveries. Here’s the shift: Move from the role of “teacher” to “coach.”

Putting on the “coach hat” can tweak leaders’ perspectives to give themselves permission to not always rescue—to not jump in with the answer when there’s more than a few seconds of quiet following a question. Leaders who wear the “coach hat” might walk a preschooler through tying his shoe instead of doing it for him. Coaching gives adult leaders and kids breathing room to not instantly equate struggle with failure but to see it as part of physical, mental, and spiritual growth.

Find Hidden Strengths

With this coaching mindset, giving kids responsibility is a highly effective tool for engaging boys. You can start by reframing negative labels that are sometimes assigned to kids. Flip a negative label, and you’ll likely find there’s a strength tucked in there. Jeremy shared these great examples with us:

• Restless = Energetic
• Distracted = Curious
• Argumentative = Analytical
• Competitive = Motivated
• Stubborn = Persistent

See the Success of Leveraging Leadership

Each of those positive label shifts can help you find a role that harnesses a boy’s focus and strengths. Jeremy shared a touching story where he saw this approach completely change a power struggle his teaching teammates had with a boy who’d been labeled “out of control.”

“I was getting ready to walk into this class one time, and I was told, ‘Oh, you’ve got Tony*. Good luck with Tony.’ OK, so I’ve got a heads up on Tony. So he walks in and I don’t even hesitate. I instantly hand him the clipboard and say, ‘Dude, you’re in charge of checking kids in today.’ Then I put him in charge of organizing something…and turning off the lights after a video. I put him to work. I had zero problems with him the entire day. The point is, give them [kids] leadership roles, make them part of the process.”

*Tony is a name randomly selected to protect this young boy’s identity.

The Wins

• You’ll help all kids discover ways they can create and uphold a positive classroom culture. Less of your time and focus will be taken by crowd control when the kids are your partners in that effort!
• Kids will discover that leadership can mean an “up front” and easily visible role, but leaders also have an equally important impact in behind-the-scenes ways. You’ll create opportunities for kids to find out how they can lead from their strengths. What a core memory to make at church!
• You’ll support kids’ resilience as you allow them to lead and make mistakes. And you get to model grace for any mess-ups. Kids can realize they have the gumption to keep trying, fail forward, and allow others to do the same.

Strategy #3: Leverage Positive Competition

Here, Jeremy taps into a common need in many boys—to conquer a challenge. You’ll see buy-in when you invite boys to tackle a “what if” or physical challenge tied to the biblical context you’re exploring. You can focus on positive aspects of competition by using cooperative games where kids work together to beat the clock, solve a problem together, or figure out how and why an object lesson worked.

Kids are human, and sometimes their competitive sides will take over—even with careful planning. It will happen, but you can utilize these moments to explore sportsmanship, being a teammate, and processing disappointment.

Look for ways to amplify Jesus’ grace and love in every situation. Offer ideas of ways kids could respond to each other positively and then invite them to pick the idea they’d like to try.

The Wins

• You’ll coach kids through their own discoveries about how to be a team player and show empathy when there’s disappointment or loss. Kids can learn practical ways to show the fruit of the Spirit in real-life challenges.
• Positive competition can be an effective way to explore emotional regulation and social skills. Within the faith contexts of your Sunday school lessons, you’ll point kids’ hearts toward a friendship with Jesus while shaping important relational skills.

Bonus: Allow Controlled Physical Play

Remember Jeremy’s pivotal experience of seeing two wrestling boys lose their school recess? It’s at the heart of another key strategy for engaging boys. Allow physical play—with boundaries.

Check out Jeremy’s book, 8 Strategies for Engaging Boys in the Classroom, for pointers on creating physical spaces and activities that invite more active play—but allow you to have control.

Jeremy says a conscious effort to allow more physicality in your ministry—in the programming and the physical set up of the space—can go miles in engaging boys and any active kids. Many boys bond powerfully through physical shared experience.

The Wins

• You’ll show understanding and openness for the varied ways kids bond, so your classroom and ministry will be a more inclusive place.
• Allowing opportunities for kids to expend energy in the ways they find most meaningful can help them focus during reflective moments. This makes your ministry a dynamic “kid zone” where children can be themselves—allowing them to truly get to know the personal love Jesus has for them.

Ultimate Strategy: Trust God

Alongside his observations of what engages boys, Jeremy also acknowledges that these strategies are generalized guides. His hope is that you glean new-to-you tools to add to your ministry toolkit.

He has seen, as you likely have too, that kids and grown-ups alike don’t fit into “one-size-fits-all.” Kids are wonderfully diverse and purposefully unique, so while these strategies are aimed at helping you engage boys, you’ll experience broader benefits and applications. That’s a ministry win!

Jeremy also hopes you’ll remember this: God is moving in your efforts. You can free yourself—and the kids—to let go of the need to hit everything in a lesson and leave room for spontaneous conversation, movement, and kid-led connection that builds relationships. There’s so much ministry in the moments we didn’t plan, but God did!

Jeremy says, “You just coach, and allow God to direct where it goes…You’ve got to leave it up to God and the Holy Spirit.”

Looking for a set of biblically rooted activities that put these pointers into play? Download this free lesson from Group’s All Together Sunday School and give engaging, experiential learning a try!

Meet the Expert

Jeremy Spicer brings nearly 30 years of experience working with children and youth in public education and ministry settings. He has served in various children’s ministry roles, including children’s pastor, teacher, and ministry leader. He’s also the founder and director of CMBible, a nonprofit ministry dedicated to equipping churches and ministry leaders.

As the author of 8 Strategies for Engaging Boys in the Classroom, Jeremy combines practical experience, biblical understanding, and a passion for helping others create environments where children can grow in faith and purpose. (You can also purchase Jeremy’s book here.)

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Want more tips for effectively engaging kids? Check out why R.E.A.L. learning is a tried-and-true way to invite kids into a lifelong friendship with Jesus!