What kind of children’s ministry leader are you? Take a free quiz to discover or learn more about your leadership style.

Picture the ideal leader. Got that person in mind? What do you immediately notice about them? Does your person have the leadership style and charisma of, say, a Kennedy? The good looks worthy of People Magazine? How about the genius of a Stephen Hawking?

The myth of the perfect leader is in our society even when we also know deep down that we’re all human. And humans aren’t perfect. Though, in the age of online Influencers, we still want to believe in this do-all and end-all perfect leader, and that desire plays out in a variety of ways in our society.

• In business, we bankroll CEO’s with gargantuan salaries and give them privileges and perks to match. Why? All in the hope that the perfect leadership will protect our jobs and investments, and lead us all to wealth.

• In entertainment, Marvel Comic heroes attract record crowds to the theaters. We’ll gladly pay a small fortune for a ticket and bag of popcorn so we can watch perfect leaders use their superpowers to protect us from supervillains.

• In politics, every four years Americans look for our individual ideas of a perfect leader to run the country and handle foreign policy with equal, excellent skill. Who’ll inspire us, lead without compromise, effectively engage with Congress, and guide America into peace and prosperity.

The Perfect Church Leader

Unfortunately, churches have bought into the myth of the perfect leader, too. But here’s the bottom line: Many people are looking for a leader who can do all, be all, and solve all. One person who’ll be everything we need.

This kind of thinking sets us up for failure. Why? Because when we’re introduced as the “leader” of a children’s ministry—even if our entire organization is ourselves and two volunteers—people compare us against the myth of the perfect leader.

But the problem deepens when we compare ourselves against that myth.

Everyone who measures themself against that perfect leader yardstick feels less than. Buy into the myth and you’ll either completely burn out, or you’ll quickly feel inadequate. Either choice is an ugly one because both options force you to distort who God has called and equipped you to be. When we try to be someone God didn’t wire us to be, we’re exhausting our God-given strengths instead of effectively leveraging them.

Shattering the Myth

It’s time to shatter the myth of the perfect leader once and for all. Here’s how we’ll topple that statue: by looking at what’s required of leadership in a “five-star” children’s ministry. And by remembering, always, that Jesus was and is the only truly perfect leader!

An outstanding children’s ministry is a lot like a five-star restaurant, hotel, or other organization that serves others. Five-star children’s ministries attract crowds of parents and children. These ministries sustain momentum for years. They’re designed to thrive over time. There’s excellent (but not perfect) leadership in a five-star children’s ministry.

Lead With Your Strengths

God has put you in your role, which means that how he wired you to lead others will work. It just won’t work if you insist on trying to handle all the leadership functions yourself or if you pretend to be the Perfect Leader who can cover all the bases.

Imagine how dramatically you could improve your ministry — and your own attitude — if you led others from your strengths instead of feeling like a misfit. How secure would you feel if you didn’t have to fret about whether your leadership style was okay? Things would get better—and they will for you.

Take the Dramatic Leadership Assessment Test. Despite the name, it’s not a test of your dramatic abilities. No singing or dancing is required.

The word “dramatic” refers to the process by which groups of people put on a play in the theater. There are six distinct leadership functions required to pull together a successful play — and these functions can apply in your ministry too!

You’ll soon discover a great deal about your natural leadership style. After completing the assessment, explore the list of styles below and how your style (or styles) complement other styles. Consider what it reveals to you about how you can work with team members to accomplish tremendous things.

Get ready to be amazed at what God has done, and is doing, in you!

Leadership Style Summaries

Use these descriptions to share what you’ve learned with your team.

1. Director: Leadership Style Summary

Possesses the ability to visualize what “the play” will look like on Opening Night. The Director is able to communicate that vision to an entire team and uses that picture to motivate the team to action. In a ministry context, the Director is able to see what the children’s ministry can accomplish for God if it steps boldly into the future.

Inspiration

1. I constantly find myself dreaming about the unrealized potential of my ministry.
2. I study both Scripture and other thriving ministries to discover what direction I should lead my ministry.

Affirmation

1. I feel satisfaction when I’m able to mobilize my teams to tackle a big, formidable goal.
2. I enjoy being a pioneer and blazing a new path for my ministry.

Implementation

1. I lead by telling others’ stories of what our ministry could look like.
2. I have an easy time asking people to make deep personal sacrifices for the sake of the ministry and achieving “the dream.”

Frustration

1. I often feel as if I’m waiting for others in my ministry to catch up or get “on board.”
2. I’m annoyed by people who have a hard time seeing the big picture.

Ministry Star(s): The Promised Land, Muscle

Leadership Energy: Vision

2. Production Assistant: Leadership Style Summary

In theater, this person works closely with the Director to help him or her move the team to the goal. The Production Assistant develops the master calendars-the rehearsal schedules, advertising schedules, and set design schedules. In a ministry context, the Production Assistant bridges the status quo to the Director’s vision through a series of well-defined and logically progressing steps. A skillful Production Assistant is able to manage the change of attitudes and “buy-in” of teammates and influential people in the congregation.

Inspiration

1. I quickly break large projects into a series of manageable steps.
2. I’m able to quickly identify what resources, volunteers, and budgets need to be in place in order to lead my organization through change in an orderly fashion.

Affirmation

1. I enjoy it when my team leader turns to me to develop the plan to make his or her vision become a reality.
2. I feel most valuable to the team when my skills are used to help the team move through change with efficiency and minimal levels of conflict.

Implementation

1. I lead by developing calendars, timelines, and to-do lists that help our team measure its progress as we move toward our goals.
2. I lead by helping the team and congregation manage its emotional responses to a large task or change by giving them constructive opportunities to share their opinions and feelings.

Frustration

1. I’m frustrated by leaders who initiate change before thinking through implications of that change.
2. Leaders who deviate from a plan on which the team has agreed frustrate me.

Ministry Star: Maps

Leadership Energy: Strategy

3. Stage Manager: Leadership Style Summary

The Stage Manager has an eye for all the details that need to be attended to in order for the play to be successfully produced. In a ministry setting, the Stage Manager has an eye for the systems and to-do lists that need to be attended to for the ministry to run efficiently.

Inspiration

1. I’m able to mentally organize my ministry into a series of systems that need to be organized.
2. I constantly look for new ways to improve the efficiency of how things happen in my ministry.

Affirmation

1. I take pleasure in creating an orderly environment in which people can serve.
2. I feel secure when I operate within clearly defined boundaries and expectations.

Implementation

1. I lead by creating policies and systems to help others do their jobs well.
2. I have an eye for detail and am constantly generating to-do lists to organize my day.

Frustration

1. I have difficulty understanding those who ignore details and protocol.
2. I dislike working in unstructured environments.

Ministry Star: Muscle

Leadership Energy: Organization

4. Theater Manager: Leadership Style Summary

In the world of drama, the Theater Manager provides a healthy environment in which everyone can work. In a ministry environment, the Theater Manager creates a healthy relational and cognitive environment that promotes productive ministry.

Inspiration

1. I’m motivated by the belief that healthy ministries flow from healthy teams and individuals.
2. I constantly gauge the emotional and attitudinal health of my team.

Affirmation

1. I feel most satisfied when there is a positive sense of well-being among my team members.
2. I enjoy tending to the personalities of my teams and ministry.

Implementation

1. I’m able to lead my teams through emotional experiences that shape my team’s morale.
2. I’m able to unite a diverse group of people into a common culture using training, symbols, experiences, and music.

Frustration

1. I become frustrated when I see team members exhibiting attitudes that harm our group’s well-being.
2. Leaders who act without considering how their behavior will affect the team’s morale frustrate me.

Ministry Star(s): Has a global influence on Promised Land, Maps, Toolbox, Heart, and Muscle.

Leadership Energy: Health

5. Drama Coach: Leadership Style Summary

In theater, the Drama Coach leads by teaching others the skills and competencies needed to become skilled actors. In a ministry context, the Drama Coach leads by teaching team members the competencies, values, policies and procedures, and philosophies needed for the team to become master children’s ministry volunteers.

Inspiration

1. I’m able to teach skills and concepts to my team members so they have the best chance for being successful in ministry.
2. I can present both Scriptures and my children’s ministry knowledge in simple and memorable ways that prompt people to change their behavior.

Affirmation

1. I enjoy studying Scripture as well as a broad field of literature in the business and education fields so I can bring the best ideas into my ministry.
2. I feel most used by God when I’m leading a classroom, whether it’s filled with children or adults.

Implementation

1. I create opportunities to equip my team members in a group or individual settings.
2. I have found a curriculum of skills and theories that I believe my team members need to understand.

Frustration

1. It frustrates me when my team members don’t take advantage of the teacher training available to them.
2. I often find myself analyzing teachers whom I sit under and find myself developing better ways to present the same material.

Ministry Star: Tool Box

Leadership Energy: Equipping

6. Stagehand: Leadership Style Summary

In theater, the Stagehand advances the progress of the team by meeting the physical needs of the team. Stagehands build the set and make sure all of the props are acquired and working. In a ministry setting, the Stagehand serves the team by meeting their physical needs and allowing other leaders to focus on their roles.

Inspiration

1. I’m able to anticipate what supplies and labor the team will need to order to accomplish its goals.
2. I’d rather be of assistance to the people who are doing the lead work.

Affirmation

1. I enjoy working behind the scenes to support my more visible team members.
2. I take pride in my flexibility and willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Implementation

1. I tend to volunteer for the set-up and tear-down phases of most events.
2. I lead by doing all the menial jobs that can pile up and get in the way of the team accomplishing its goals.

Frustration

1. I can find myself feeling forgotten by the rest of the team.
2. I can judge team members who overlook the physical jobs that need to be done in the ministry.

Ministry Star: Muscle

Leadership Energy: Servanthood

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