Hear No Evil
Ages 2 to 5
You can be sure that if children this age hear any word often
enough, it'll become part of their vocabulary -- regardless of
whether they understand its meaning. The same is true of racial
slurs and obscene gestures. Preschoolers don't use profanity for
its shock value; they simply repeat what they hear. I know a parent
who withdrew his preschooler from Sunday school, fearing the child
would repeat in church what she heard at home.
Parents, older children, and other people are a child's main
source of inappropriate words and gestures. Movies, television, and
popular music also provide exposure. How are we to apply the
brakes?
The obvious remedy is to prevent exposure, but that's an
increasingly difficult task for parents and teachers. When a young
child uses profanity or obscene gestures, don't react in shock and
anger. Calmly explain that the word or gesture can hurt others'
feelings. If the behavior persists, separate the child from the
rest of the group; then discuss the incident with the child's
parent.
Speak No Evil
Ages 6 to 9
Children this age are old enough to understand that the use of
profanity insults the speaker and the listener. For example, when
we misuse God's name, we insult God. Sadly, misusing God's name is
so common that it's rarely recognized as breaking a commandment. To
help children learn to verbally honor God, explain that praising
God or calling on God in times of need are acceptable examples of
how to use God's name. Tell children that using God's name
inappropriately is disrespectful to God.
Children this age can also become confused about words that have
both an obscene and an appropriate application. A smirking
youngster recently brought my attention to a "bad" book in which
the word "ass" appeared. The reference was to a donkey; the book
was the Bible. Explain to children that words are "bad" whenever
they're used to hurt others
or to take God's name in vain.
Repeat No Evil
Ages 10 to 12
To kids this age, the ability to shock adults is considered a
talent. Preteens use profanity to get a reaction from adults and to
impress their friends. And often it only takes one child in a group
to get the ball rolling. Without intervention, preteens will pick
up bad language to fit in rather than be considered an
outsider.
Without appearing shocked by what you've seen or heard, let kids
know that the use of profane language or obscene gestures in your
class, club, or home isn't acceptable or allowed. Preteens think
this type of behavior is clever and sophisticated. In reality, it's
dishonoring to God and bad for them (Matthew 15:11).
Sometimes a preteen may use an obscene word, unaware of its
meaning. I still remember a sixth-grade girl's embarrassment when
my wife took her aside and quietly explained the definition of a
term she had used freely without knowing its real meaning.
Teaching preteens discernment will help them censor their
language. Examine the content of popular media influences (music,
television, and videos) and suggest appealing, less offensive
options for kids. You can't blindfold and gag preteens, but you can
help them develop a preference for what's "pure and lovely"
(Philippians 4:8).
Robert Choun Jr. is a curriculum consultant and a children
and youth coordinator in Arlington, Texas. Please keep in mind that
phone numbers, addresses, and prices are subject to
change.
