1. Page 23: (Age level insights 0-2) Diaper Card Holder

2. Page 38: (Reaching out) Pen-Pal Outreach
3. Page 53: (The Goods) Ways to use Gryoscopes.
4. Page 105: (Who Is This Man?) Read an excerpt of Who Is This Man?

The X-Zylo Ultra can travel up to 600 feet…if tossed correctly. The key is to use a side-arm throw. With the right technique, the Ultra can easily fly 100 feet each time. When kids are first trying to toss their X-Zylo, they may have a hard time tossing it great distances until you teach them the technique. You can tie this into how the Bible gives us instructions on how to live our life and go far for God.

Younger kids enjoy the X-Zylo Air Rider because the tail makes it easy to throw in any motion. Give the younger kids a shot at using the Ultra. After a few attempts, swap them out with the Air Riders for an easier experience. You can then tie this into how, like the Air Rider's tail, God wants to guide our life and we can trust that he'll lead us in the right direction.

A snapshot:

• We had some volunteers serving once per month in rotations, while others served twice per month.
• We had a few consistent volunteers serving weekly.
• We had some parents we required to serve in certain rooms every two months.
• We had other people who served when they could, where they could.
• When we were short volunteers in various areas, we added kids to the rooms with consistent volunteers, overwhelming them.
• In short, we had a mess.
  
  Our volunteer plan was all over the place. It was time-consuming and difficult to manage, and we weren't retaining people we recruited. Our level of frustration was high, and our focus had evolved into managing logistics and crisis control rather than developing relationships with the kids we served. We were trying to patch a leaky tire using all the wrong methods, and the result was messy (and still leaky). We needed to regroup.
  
  After much prayer, soul-searching, and discussion, our leadership team grappled with making a change so big-and so potentially risky-that it could alienate the reliable volunteers we had. We took a step out in faith, believing that the risk would ultimately be worth it. And in the end it was. Here's our story.

A New Formation
As leaders, we dreamed about what our ministry would look like if things were perfect, if we could tell the complete history of any child who'd engaged in our ministry and came to love Jesus. What if volunteers knew their kids, could track their spiritual growth, and even follow them through our ministry to maximize their opportunity to build relationships?

Ultimately, we decided our ministry needed regular, weekly volunteers who were invested in the same kids' lives each week, year after year. We created a volunteer plan where our volunteers would move up through our ministry with their kids.

This tectonic shift in thinking wasn't because we had a spiritual breakthrough (although I believe that's part of it). I knew as a father of two young children myself that I would've never dropped off my children with a different caregiver every week. My ministry colleagues felt the same way. And we knew our all-over-the-map volunteer strategy wasn't positive for kids. Different volunteer faces every week meant we were losing kids and volunteers.

For so long, we'd been placing volunteers where we needed them and where they were willing to work-without spending time ensuring the placement was fulfilling or designed for longevity. We were focused on where we had "holes." But our consistent volunteers enjoyed themselves more-and stayed longer-when they served in their area of giftedness.

We also considered the model of our adult ministries. As a broader church, we don't ask adult small groups to disband at the end of each school year and form new small groups later-because we believe community is important. Why would that be any different in our children's ministry? We wanted our volunteer strategy to be centered around strong, personal relationships.

The Big Leap

Once we knew what we wanted our volunteer program to look like, we began building it-even though it basically meant starting over.

• We communicated the plan to our entire volunteer team and unveiled the vision we were chasing. This meeting was key to helping our people understand what was happening and that their volunteer role would likely change.
• We had "coffee meetings" with each volunteer and shared the vision. We met individually with each volunteer to lay out what was changing, to ask them to join us, and to give them a chance to ask questions. (The coffee meetings have stuck-we continue to do them with all prospective volunteers today.) We ended the coffee meetings with, "I want to ask you to pray about joining with us on this journey. I don't need an answer today, but I'll follow up with you in a week." And we followed up.
• We reworked our application process. Today, each prospective volunteer completes an application, background check, and personal interview. The interview includes sharing the scope of the commitment we're looking for and uncovering the person's gifts, talents, and interests.
• We require a regular, weekly commitment. People who can't commit to serving weekly serve on our substitute roster or in behind-the-scenes and support roles, not in upfront ministry roles with kids and parents. We're unbending on this, as the core value of our volunteer strategy is that we want kids and families to establish and build on a relationship with our excellent volunteers.
• Volunteers move up through the ministry with their kids. This has been the most significant change we've made, and it's also been the best. A great example is Norm, an extroverted volunteer who's intentional about building relationships and can tell you about each individual child in his group-personality, likes, and spiritual journey. This is Norm's seventh year with the same group of kids. This system lets volunteers know and love the kids they work with, have great friendships with their parents, and serve as true spiritual mentors who can tell where kids are struggling and where they're thriving. No kids fall through the cracks in our ministry these days.

The Result
Recently one of our volunteers, Geoff, made this comment: "When I first started serving with the toddlers years ago, I was serving once per month. I always left frustrated. The room was chaotic, and for most of our time we had kids upset and crying. We almost never got to the point where we'd actually teach curriculum. It was very soon after I started serving weekly that those things changed. Within four weeks, we had a routine. We no longer had kids crying, but we had a routine with calm kids and we started building relationships with them-and their parents. We get to curriculum every week now, and I leave excited and fulfilled."

We restructured our volunteer approach more than six years ago. In that time, we've made many discoveries. Here are the highlights.

• It took three years to get real traction. There have been difficult moments when we feel like we've exhausted all avenues of vision casting and recruiting. Early on, we were tempted to take a new volunteer on that person's terms like the old days because we had a strong need. We did it a couple of times and it hurt the ministry. People suffered and our vision suffered. Kids who might've otherwise had a weekly leader investing in them missed out. We actually lost a few kids in the shuffle because no one had an idea of how those kids were doing and where they were spiritually. Those setbacks made us more vigilant than ever to see our system work.
• Communication is key. I assumed that because our entire team was in the meeting when we unveiled this new system, everyone understood and had bought into the philosophy. My mistake. The reality was that while our team heard the words, not all of them understood the reasoning behind them and many were overwhelmed by such a significant change. It took about a year of constant conversations and sharing success stories of changed lives based on weekly relationships to eventually get everyone onboard. Those who weren't onboard eventually exited the ministry.
• Vision casting never stops. We've learned that a face-to-face meeting is far more impacting than an email or phone conversation when it comes to outlining our unique dream for children in our ministry. We've also learned that the work of spreading the vision is never truly done. We reiterate the message in hallway conversations, team meetings, visits with parents-the message runs through the fiber of everything we communicate about our ministry. And we have more time for spreading the vision because we aren't spending every week scrambling with the volunteer roster.

"Regular weekly volunteers in a room make such a huge impact on ministry," says Melissa, a veteran volunteer with our ministry. "They provide a familiar face, stronger ministry, and a greater chance for deeper relationships. Finding weekly volunteers isn't easy. When I ask [people for weekly commitment], many give the excuse that they're too busy to make that kind of commitment. And that's where vision casting comes in. That's the opportunity to share with people why we do what we do in children's ministry. It usually takes many conversations before someone finally steps in as a weekly volunteer, but in the end it's always worth it."

• Volunteer placements aren't always intuitive. A great example is Jim, a burly football-player dad who's a gifted volunteer and communicator. Jim served in one room for a year and did a good job. But it wasn't until a personal conversation with him that we realized just how gifted a leader he was. We moved him into the role of a volunteer coach…in our nursery. You wouldn't think a burly football-player dad would make a great coach of volunteers in the nursery, but Jim has been a fantastic coach, a great troubleshooter, and a satisfied and reliable volunteer in his new role.

----------------

We're still busy at work recruiting regular volunteers. We know we still have work to do. So we pray, refocus, vision cast, and ask the people God puts in our path. By regrouping and strengthening the core of our children's ministry-our volunteers-we've seen incredible changes. Our volunteers are happier, more fulfilled, and they stay with us much longer. But best of all, we've seen our entire ministry grow healthier as our children experience love, relationships, and spiritual mentoring like never before.

Gary Lindsay is the children's pastor at Irving Bible Church in Irving, Texas and is also a scheduled presenter at Group's KidMin Conference (group.com/kidmin).

Have we gone too far by nurturing a"feel-good," entitlement-based mentality for kids today?

Kids today grow up surrounded by an "everyone's a winner" message-but reality is, not everyone can win first place or make an A-plus or be the popular kid. So what happens when kids experience failure, rejection, or exclusion-especially if we've set them up to believe that life will always be fair and everyone's entitled to equal accolades, standing, and possessions? Have we gone so far promoting a feel-good culture for kids that we're shortchanging them by not teaching them how to lose or fail? Cruise through these insights, cultural snapshots, and expert advice that shed light on this cultural phenomenon-then join the conversation.

An Entitlement- Free Outlook

When it comes to reversing kids' assumptions that they're entitled to win, receive, and achieve, work to redirect their thinking. I recommend moving forward to "entitlement-free" rather than backward to pre-entitlement thinking of You get what you get and you don't get upset. Build constructively on the notion that "everyone's a winner" (or, better articulated: Everyone has strengths, unique abilities, and talents). Yes, everyone's a winner-just not at the same time or in the same ways.

Parents, teachers, and coaches are facilitators for children to grow into problem-solvers and solution-makers through challenging situations. Children often take their cues from adults when they fall apart after taking second place or get a low test score. Conversely, if adults are emotion coaches hearing kids' struggles and helping them find constructive perspectives, kids learn flexibility and resilience.

• Encourage humor. Prepare children for potential outcomes. If a child is a star athlete or an A-plus student, then help that child generate empathy for kids who aren't those things. Bring different perspectives and personalities into your discussions. Tell silly stories about everyone crossing the finish line at the same time-one child with untied shoes, one with a leg cramp, one riding a tiger (silliness and absurdity can teach, too). Grapple with scenarios together. How about a teacher who gave everyone A's? How would that feel-fair? honest? effective?
• See others' perspectives. Ask kids what makes "winners" more successful than others. Luck? Talent? Effort? Why or why not? Guide kids to see that their effort toward the goal is what matters, not the end result. Research is clear that praise is most effective when focused on kids' effort and the process itself rather than the outcomes, so encourage kids for their attempts and strategies.
• Guide kids to see and develop personal strengths and interests. The child who's chosen last on the playground may be the one who can help other kids with math. Help kids understand that our strengths and skills aren't the same-and that's good. There are good reasons we're all created differently; wouldn't it be boring if we weren't? Spend time with kids exploring their gifts, talents, and interests.
• In the end, check back to see whether winning really mattered.So often children are disappointed because they think the outcome or result is the measure of the experience. Try asking kids these questions to help them think through whether winning really is all that matters:
  • Would you still want to play the game if you never came in first or won?
  • What do you like about playing a sport aside from winning?
  • What do you think that grade measured?
  • What did you learn from the experience?
  • What would you do differently if you could do it over?

  Whenever you're working to redirect kids' attitudes of entitlement, remember that parents bring insight, perspective, and values to each of these discussions. Kids and their parents are learning together how to think and feel in challenging, real-life situations in our current culture. The hardest part of entitlement-free thinking is taking time to slow down to carve out a unique, humble identity as a family and for each child.

Karen Deerwester is the owner of Family Time Coaching & Consulting and author of The Entitlement-Free Child (Sourcebooks, Inc.).

The Resilience Factor

"Children who face adversity are more likely to persevere if they have a set of cognitive and emotional skills known as self-regulation. These skills include seeing the consequences of one's actions, planning ahead, setting goals, being focused and attentive, and especially learning to be proactive," says John Buckner, Ph.D. "On the non-cognitive side, self-regulation means learning to control emotions such as anger and frustration. These are the building blocks of effective coping in life." Buckner and doctors Enrico Mezzacappa and William Beardslee conducted a study examining how children's self-regulation skills impacted their resilience in adverse situations. The study was recently published in Development and Psychopathology.

"The findings are particularly important because self-regulation skills can be taught and learned," Bucker says. "When a teacher helps a child pay attention in class or a coach counsels a kid who throws the bat after striking out, those adults are teaching self-regulatory skills. This is something that many parents and educators do already, but a heightened focus could help many children become more resilient." The strongest independent predictor of resilience (competence despite adversity) was a child's self-regulation skills, although parental monitoring also played a role.

Free Pass?

"In an effort to broaden horizons, parents have introduced a generation of young people to as many activities and opportunities as possible-soccer, fencing, dance, Mandarin," says CEO
Michael Brunner in Forbes Magazine. "The kids are then allowed to quit when they become challenged or bored and want to move on to the next thing. Of course, parents want them to have all the things we didn't enjoy when we were growing up-yes, I'm a boomer-and that explains the esteem-boosting idea that everybody plays, everybody wins, and everybody gets a trophy. But is it possible we've made life too easy for our kids?"

Farewell, Sports
About 25 million kids play competitive school sports in the U.S. It's estimated that up to 70 percent of kids drop out of organized sports by age 13. Why? The most common reason is "it stopped being fun."

Source: NYU Child Study Center and Youth Sports Quality Institute

No Winners or Losers

"Today, being competitive appears to be politically incorrect. The thinking is that if everyone can't win a blue ribbon or trophy for first place, team sports are bad and children are irreparably damaged from the hurt of the loss. There are no winners and losers today-everyone is a winner…What a negative lesson to teach a kid who is striving to be the best at something or even has a God-given talent and achieves above others."

-Katy Grimes, blogging at calwatchdog.com

In This Issue of Children's Ministry Magazine: May/June 2013

FEATURES

Lower Your Nets for Volunteers
Discover what ministry veteran Sue Kahawaii knows about raising a net-full of volunteers.

4 Social Media Blunders
What's okay-and what's not-to share, upload, and post about you and your ministry.

Your Biggest Problems-Solved!
We asked for your biggest problems in ministry (confidentially, of course!)-now we've got expert advice that'll turn your frown
upside down!

Top Drawer Dads
The founders of Top Drawer Dads open up about what dads today are doing right-and how your ministry can partner with them.

Rx For Kids' Toxic Stress
What to do with society's latest ill-chronically stressed-out kids who suffer from high levels of anxiety.

Next-Level Safety
Here's the latest on what you need to know and do to keep your ministry a safe haven for kids.

The Great Camp In
17 camp-like experiences for kids to explore God's Word
this summer.

 AGE-LEVEL INSIGHTS

Birth to 2
Creation bottles, come out Jonah, new parent know-how, plus more.

Ages 3 to 5
Mother's Day flowers, prodigal son puppets, helping challenging children thrive, plus more.

Ages 6 to 9
Bloomin' bookmarks, grudges hurt, blow-out birthdays, plus more.

Ages 10 to 12
Hula bowl, father figure quiver, rev up for summer impact, plus more.

 IDEAS

Reaching Out
Kids Hope USA, freedom prayers, poster outreach.

Family Ministry
My way or the highway, remembering Memorial Day, FaithWeaver NOW.

Special Needs
Master the summer un-routine, "lifeguards" to the rescue, Safety Slims.

Discipline Q&A
Fun environments, group sizes during vacations, preteen swearing.

Leading Volunteers
Who's your Plan B, thank-you mugs, expert tips for leading volunteers, plus more.

>>And much more... 

From the Editor:

Winning! I love it!

Ask people who know me and they'll tell you I'm one of the most competitive people in the world. I want to be the first! Have the most! Do the best! Win! Win! Win!

But sometimes I'm the last, have the least, and do the worst. (Or at least it feels that way.) And in those times, something wells up inside of me that isn't very attractive or nice or even Christian for that matter.

Over the years, God has given me wisdom to keep my competitive spirit in check and to allow him to remove the need to see others as a competitive threat-especially when they're not. But I'm still very aware of my propensity to size up people in terms of whether I can beat them. Sick, I know.

Tell me you know what I mean. Maybe you don't do it with individuals, but do you ever do it with the church down the street? You know the one-multimillion dollar budget, state-of-the-art facility, traffic cops on Sunday mornings. You drive by it on your way to a church where you wonder if any families will even show up or whether the families you now have won't be attracted to the big, bad wolf of a church down the street.

Ahem. I mean the church down the street-just another (big) part of the body of Christ-not your competitor. Right?

I'll share with you the best advice I get when I'm in competitive mode. It's from my friend and our publisher Tim Gilmour: "Look once and then look away. Keep your eyes on what you do best and do it the best you can!"

It's good to know what others are doing, but staying focused on that doesn't make us better at what we do. The best thing we can all do is be true to God's calling for us, discover what our unique DNA is, and then work with our whole heart to be our best.

After all, when we're shaking our fist at our competitor (or God) for the results they're having, we're forgetting that it's the Lord of the Harvest who determines whether we bear fruit 30- or 100-fold. We're called to be faithful; the results are up to God.

We're all on God's winning team! Never forget who your real enemy is-not the church down the street. And celebrate this with all your brothers and sisters in God's family: "Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!"

Win! Win! Win!

Follow ChristineYJones on Twitter. On Facebook, join our fan group for Children's Ministry Magazine and become a CMMag Insider! Check out her blog!

Past Issues:

THE CHALKBOARD TEE

Use these T-shirts for impromptu skits, object lessons, and more. Have kids wear them backward and write the Fruit of the Spirit on each others' backs, or have an honored child wear one for the day so others can write uplifting messages. The shirts come with three pieces of chalk and can be reused. $26.99 and up; thechalkboardtee.com

Comment below with the word "LOVE" for your chance to win this t-shirt!  TWO winners will be randomly selected!

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time

The Scoop: It's been eight years since raccoon bandit Sly Cooper starred in a new adventure. Now he's back to steal the show in his new PlayStation 3 game, Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time. Players sneak around the game's large areas while jumping, swinging, and climbing their way toward the mission's end. The game is compatible with the PlayStation Vita handheld, allowing players to take their game on the go.

Our Take: Players take on the role of a thief trying to stay one step ahead of the police, but overall the game is good, clean fun. There's heavy emphasis on stealth, but at certain points Sly must resort to cartoon-style combat. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) was still reviewing the game as of press time.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf

The Scoop: The Animal Crossing series of games are "life simulators." Players move into a town inhabited by talking animals and join the virtual community. The game is highly customizable-from singing the town's anthem to choosing a neighbor's catch phrase. For this newest installment, players become the mayors of their town and can make even bigger changes to the landscape.

Our Take: It's refreshing to see a game that rewards players' creativity rather than competitiveness. A key feature is kids' ability to share their creations and town with others online. Using the Nintendo 3DS parental controls and common sense, parents won't have to worry. This game hasn't been rated as of press time, but expect an E rating like its predecessors.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf

The Scoop: The Animal Crossing series of games are "life simulators." Players move into a town inhabited by talking animals and join the virtual community. The game is highly customizable-from singing the town's anthem to choosing a neighbor's catch phrase. For this newest installment, players become the mayors of their town and can make even bigger changes to the landscape.

Our Take: It's refreshing to see a game that rewards players' creativity rather than competitiveness. A key feature is kids' ability to share their creations and town with others online. Using the Nintendo 3DS parental controls and common sense, parents won't have to worry. This game hasn't been rated as of press time, but expect an E rating like its predecessors.

Disney Infinity

The Scoop: Releasing on all major gaming platforms, Disney Infinity is the house of mouse's answer to Activision's Skylanders games (which recently topped $1 billion in sales). Players purchase real-world action figures and use them in the game world using an included peripheral device. The game will launch with figurines from movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean, The Incredibles, and Monsters Inc.

Our Take: What makes Disney Infinity unique is Toy Box mode, which allows players to mix and match different figures and scenes from popular Disney franchises into a custom adventure. We love that this lets kids be wildly creative, despite the heavy nod to consumerism. The Entertainment Software Rating Board rated the 3DS version E10; the other games should follow suit.

Skylanders: Giants

The Scoop: When Activision's Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure video game released last year, it was a massive hit with its collectable action figures that are used to unlock new characters and save players' progress. Now, Activision hopes to continue trending with a console sequel for all major platforms. These new action figures available for purchase will be twice the size of the originals.

Our Take: We're glad to hear that the action figures we bought for the first game can still be used for this sequel. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) was still reviewing the game as of press time, but expect kid-safe, cartoon-style violence with bad guys disappearing in a puff of smoke or explosion when defeated.

Lisa Messer West Haven, Connecticut

More resources on how your ministry can reach out to military families.

Use this cute card holder to invite parents to a baby baptism or dedication, to write a note of congratulations when a baby is born, or to even send a helpful gift card to new parents. Or put your church information inside and distribute cards to invite young parents to your church.

Print out the template here. For an extra fun look, use baby-themed paper. Cut around the edges, then fold it together and use safety pins to fasten the edges together. You can also add a fun phrase to the front such as, "As your life is changing..."

Excerpted from Children's Ministry Magazine. Subscribe today!

Make these summertime gifts for parents of your toddlers and babies as a way to encourage parents to share their faith with their children.

Take a photo of each child in your nursery, and then create personalized seed packets, with how-to-grow instructions.

You'll need one medium-size, flat coin envelope (available at discount and office supply stores) for each child. Trim each photo and glue it to the lower two-thirds of a coin envelope. Write the child's name across the top of each envelope where the name of a plant would usually appear.

On the back of the envelopes add labels that say: "Care Instructions: Needs lot of sunshine, hugs, and love, 'for they are transplanted to the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age; they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green' (Psalm 92:13)."

Kristy Coughlin
Los Angeles, California