Just about every children's minister has traveled into a valley or two. So we asked you to anonymously share some of the most vexing issues you face, and then we put our experts to work. The problems are tough, but our expert advice is stronger. Read on to find the roadmap out of the valley of common ministry problems!

Question:
I've tried everything I can think of to get my church to see the importance of children's ministry. We've made headway with our pastor, who's now onboard. But overall our ministry is pushed aside and overlooked, definitely considered a "minor" ministry with the lowest budget, no staff, and no visibility. We don't even get a credit in the bulletin-despite a team of dedicated volunteers, lots of grass-roots publicity, and a steady stream of kids. What can I do? I'm so frustrated and completely out of ideas.
-Frustrated in Fresno

Answer:
Here's the harsh reality: Many children's ministries are underfunded, understaffed, and overlooked. The recession crimped budgets and children's ministries often face cuts first. Still, the good news is your pastor is your fan.

Children's ministry involves planting seeds and tending seedlings; we rarely see the fruit of our labor. That's why situations like yours are gut-check moments for why we even do children's ministry. If it's for visibility or validation, we'll be disappointed. The reality is, adults tend to push children out of sight, down the hall, away. No one may care or notice what we do. The joy comes when children experience Jesus and laugh, learn, or love.

That said-I've experienced similar frustration when ministry isn't given its due. Other ministries garner more money, attention, and volunteers, so it can be easy to grow cynical and apathetic. I encourage you to persevere in patience (James 1:2-8).

You mentioned some important wins, including dedicated volunteers and attendance (with a positive buzz). Don't let the lack of bulletin promotion bother you because in the big picture, bulletins matter very little. Keep working on your grass-roots promotion-it's more effective anyway. And turn some focus to visibility within your congregation. If your pastor is open to it, why not dedicate a day per month to something children's ministry-related? Fifth Sundays are great days to spotlight and affirm volunteers, let kids tell their stories, and engage kids in worship. You can also organize tours of classes or deploy children as greeters, worship leaders, and ushers.

And by all means invite pastoral staff and other church leaders to serve in your children's ministry. Not for an hour or every week, but for a few minutes when possible. Leaders need to see what you're doing (because they often don't)-and when they see the fruit of your work, it usually means more funding and attention.

Rick Chromey (rickchromey.com) has 30 years in children's ministry leadership and is the author of Energizing Children's Ministry in the Smaller Church (Standard Publishing).

Question: Our church is well-meaning, but "pits" the youth ministry against our children's ministry as if it's a friendly competition on everything from attendance numbers to events to numbers of faith commitments. This has long been the culture, and everyone else seems to think it's healthy and productive-but I view it as divisive and leading us to miss so many opportunities to work together and make our overall ministry to kids seamless. What do I do? Am I a wrong fit for this church?
-Divided in Des Moines

Answer: It appears you've been called to be a change agent; one who sees the potential dangers and successes within an organization and seeks to nudge it toward becoming a better version of itself. As you likely already know, people usually dread change and rarely celebrate it. And proprietors of change are often targeted at close range, so to speak.
So how can you get those around you to not feel threatened by your observations? Unfortunately, there are no easy answers or step-by-step guides to matters such as this. But there are practical guardrails that'll help you wisely traverse your journey.

1. Know that nothing surprises God. This situation doesn't catch him unaware. He's made a way through for you that's in accordance with his perfect will. This fact takes the burden off you to fix the situation. God will show you the way; he promises that if we ask him for an answer, he'll respond. Pray sincerely and take refuge in that knowledge.
2. Keep in mind that peace is priceless. The Bible says the peacemakers are blessed, and they'll be called children of God. The road to faithfulness is paved in actions of peace. Let every word you speak and every action you take on this issue be cradled in a spirit of peace and unity, for the sake of God and his church.
3. Take to heart that the culture of every church has roots, history, memories, and feelings attached. You must handle these things lovingly and graciously because culture is emotional and personal. Even though you see this competition as a practice that can be resolved, it's still somebody's tradition. And ironically, whether people enjoy the tradition or not doesn't really matter. The minute you address it, it'll feel personal, like you're taking Grandpa's pew out of the church. While you can't be held captive nor remain stagnant in ministry because of others' emotional memories or feelings, you still have to handle people and their traditions with great care and gentleness.
4. Finally, don't forget to check all your angles. As a photographer, I'm trained to look from every angle. By doing a 360-degree check around my subject, I can often minimize or eradicate flaws and distractions in my photo just by shooting from a different vantage point. God has given you insight, but you'll be well served to ask others on your team how they see the same issue-without inviting gossip. It's possible that by looking at the issue from others' vantage point, the situation may not seem as severe, or you may see a clearer solution. Whatever the outcome, by simply asking, you place yourself in the position of learner rather than accuser or unwelcome critic.

Go in peace. Proceed with grace. Allow God's gentleness to carry you through, and all will be well.

Jill Riley is a veteran children's and youth minister, and is currently the lead pastor at Navigate Church in Billings, Montana.

Question: Our volunteers serve selflessly, but I run into the same problems year after year. I recruit new people regularly and feel like I'm a pretty good volunteer leader. I strive to be organized, respectful, and appreciative. Yet without fail, we have a small core group who ends up doing most of the work and who is always reliable…and burned out. The rest are much less dedicated and fall away, usually after a period of six months to a year. They're the ones who call in sick or commit but then back out. What can I do to reverse this trend and help the committed-but very tired-core group so they don't end up leaving, too?
-Concerned in Columbus

Answer:
The 20/80 principle seems to be everywhere. That is, 20 percent of people do 80 percent of the work. You absolutely can change this trend. Use these tips in recruiting, developing, and retaining volunteers so they don't burn out.

Place your volunteers in the right ministry role. When I interview volunteers, we discuss their "SHAPE" (Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experience). Not everyone can work with preschoolers just because you have a position there. Rather, take time to discover volunteers' SHAPE so you can place them where they'll shine and experience fulfillment and blessings. Well-placed volunteers look forward to serving because they're not wedged in an ill-fitting spot.

Provide clear job descriptions and clear expectations. We give volunteers a specific serving term and attendance requirement (we expect 80 percent attendance). If they can't meet that expectation, we redirect them to a role that's a better fit.

Pair one of your reliable core volunteers with a new volunteer so the veteran can pass the responsibility baton to the newbie. This is a great way to learn-and when you're new, it's more fun to work and learn as a team.

Follow up with volunteers often to see how they're doing. Our ministry DNA is relationships-we make it clear that people (including volunteers) come before programming. Thus, if someone is overwhelmed or has too much, we remove some of those responsibilities.

It's okay to simplify your ministry and even have unfilled roles. If you don't have enough volunteers to run an event, you may have to cancel the event for the year. Your congregation needs to see that it takes volunteers and time to put events together. In the meantime, pray with your existing team and with kids to ask God to send more volunteers who are excited to serve.

Gloria Lee is a veteran children and families pastor in Los Angeles, California, with more than 18 years of experience.

1. Page 24: (Age level insights 0-2) Sample Checklist (See **Web Exclusive** on article)…

2. Page 38: (Reaching out) Resources on child abuse prevention

3. Page 61: (Salary Survey) Advice on approaching a compensation conversation

4. Page 104: (Service Project) Artistic version of Resurrection Bread.

PITFALL 1:

Invading Families' Privacy
According to attorney Richard Hammar, founder of Church Law and Tax Report, churches must be wary of how much information they release-especially in the context of posting prayer requests online. Releasing medical diagnoses or even basic personal health information can potentially constitute an invasion of privacy-no matter how well-intentioned. Even if the church avoids a lawsuit, the resulting damage to the church's trustworthiness will be catastrophic.

Safeguard 1: Create a social media privacy policy. Every church needs a social media policy for its staff and volunteer teams. This policy provides the framework for how to engage the world online. Include a section specific to the social media privacy policy in your children's ministry manual and train your teams on it. Don't limit the policy to paid staff. Volunteers represent your church online with each interaction they engage in.

Policies vary from church to church, but there are great resources online to guide you in creating a policy that fits your ministry. Justin Wise, a church social media expert, has gathered a number of policies from churches and posted them on his blog, justinwise.net. And Inc.com also has a guide for creating a policy that's easy and free to access.

Posting Videos or Pictures Without Prior Consent
Pictures are an integral part of any social network. But before you begin snapping photos with your smartphone on Sunday mornings-understand the risks.

"Each individual owns his or her likeness or other identifiable characteristic," notes Frank Sommerville on churchsafety.com. This means that a church can't post a person's picture without consent. Sommerville points out that if churches use pictures for promotional purposes, then the courts would likely find that the church used the images commercially. Even pictures taken by volunteers can land the church in trouble in court. Legally, church services and events are considered private and don't fit under exemptions that cover images taken in public venues.

Safeguard 2: Get permission before posting anything. It's tempting to overlook this step when there's a really great moment happening on the children's church stage and you want that picture. Don't. Posting a child's photo to a public site without permission can damage trust and put kids at risk. Take the picture, but don't post it until you have written consent from everyone included in the image to use the picture online. If the parents refuse, don't post it at all, even to your own personal Facebook page, website, or email.

Some churches have begun posting signs at the front door alerting people that by entering the building they're giving consent to the church to use their image. This frees ministries to post photos without having to obtain written consent. However, if a parent asks to have a picture taken down, comply immediately. And don't be tempted to forgo a signed consent form. You're wise to include this as part of your registration package for each child and adult in your ministry. For a sample photo consent form, go to Web Exclusives at childrensministry.com.

PITFALL 3:

Releasing Information Identifying Someone
Imagine that you're watching a group of kids from your ministry sing at their elementary school. You pull out your smartphone and take a picture with Instagram. You then upload with the comment, "Watching Morgan and Kylie sing in the 2nd grade choir at Oak Road Elementary!"

You've just potentially violated the privacy of those minors (think legal issues or custody disputes).
Another potential danger of identifying kids is that predators are known to search social media sites for children's personal information. Leaving any identifying information about kids on a public profile, website, or even in an email that can be forwarded puts children at risk because anyone can view, share, or forward the information and image.

Safeguard 3: Take extra precautions with personal information. Posting identifiable information is especially dangerous when it comes to minors. Identifiable information includes current locations, addresses, phone numbers, emails, first and last names, ages, schools, and more. Churches must obtain written permission before posting any of those details, and even then it's not a good idea. Facebook pages are by nature public. Emails can be forwarded. Websites can be viewed by anyone with Internet access. So ensure that information you post has been okayed and placed in a suitable public arena with precautions to prevent kids from being individually identified. A rule of thumb is to never tag kids in photos and never identify a specific child by name. For instance, don't caption photos with things such as, "From left to right: Alex, Denise, Carly, and Marcus."

PITFALL 4:

Posting Copyrighted Photos or Videos
Many children's ministries like to post information about the previous week's lesson on their Facebook page or Twitter feed. This helps parents keep in touch with what kids are learning. I've seen many churches post worksheets or take-home pages on their Facebook page. If the children's ministry created this curriculum and all the accompanying graphics (or paid for or got permission for their usage from the publisher), then there's no issue. However, posting worksheets from curriculum that you've purchased likely violates the copyright of that curriculum. The same pitfall applies to uploading videos or pictures from a purchased curriculum to YouTube or Facebook.

Safeguard 4: Share from publisher's sites or get permission. Posting great resources to Facebook and Twitter enables kids to learn at home and helps reach families. So it's important to know what you can and can't post. Most curriculum companies provide a copyright page that stipulates fair usage. If you don't have the rights to post something, there are legal ways around the obstacle. For music and video, look for the curriculum publisher's official YouTube or Vimeo channel. If they have one, then you can embed those videos on your Facebook page's wall using the sites' share functions. For handouts, simply call or email the publisher and ask permission to post worksheets. Not every publisher will agree, but most will work with you. Whatever you do, don't assume posting without permission is okay.

Falling into one of these social media pitfalls can have a lasting impact on your children's ministry. And this list isn't exhaustive, nor does it take into consideration new threats that'll arise as social media platforms mature. Remain on the lookout for new concerns, keep up with evolving privacy laws, and be aware of changing trends. Knowing what to avoid-and educating your team-will go far in keeping your kids and ministry safe. The concerns, though, shouldn't keep children's ministers away from social media. Its value in building relationships within your ministry makes it one of your most effective tools. cm

Dwayne Riner (creativekidmin.com) is the creative and curriculum director at The Ark Church in Conroe, Texas.

• Persistent re-experiencing of the trauma (memories and flashbacks of the trauma and recurring trauma-related nightmares) 
• Seeking to avoid traumatic reminders (including places, people, and conversations)
• A general numbing of emotional responsiveness 
• Chronic physiological "hyperarousal," including sleep disturbances, poor concentration, and being over-sensitive to threats
• Actively re-experiencing trauma through repetitive play imitating the trauma 

1. Understand Facebook's privacy settings. The default settings aren't always set to the most secure options; spend time reviewing yours so you know who's able to access your information and images.
2. Consider everything as public information. People can share your status or even capture a screenshot, so every post you make must be suitable for anyone to read-including kids you're ministering to.
3. Be careful about sharing posts that appear on your feed. When you share pictures or e-cards, you also share the name of the group or person who originated them, which may contain vulgar and offensive language. 
4. Watch your photos for spam or malicious tagging. Change your Facebook settings to notify you any time you're tagged in an image, and investigate every tag to ensure it meets your public guidelines.
5. Be careful about services such as Spotify and Pandora. Many times these apps will post your listening activity-you may enjoy 80's heavy metal, but you might not want everyone to know when you're rocking to Van Halen.
6. Stay away from politics. Yes, you have freedom of speech. No, that doesn't mean you should exercise it when you have a strong political opinion.
7. Never discuss "backstage" issues. Don't touch on or allude to internal church discussions on Facebook or any social platform unless directed by senior leadership.
8. Don't bash other ministries, denominations, or churches--local or national. You may disagree with a church's philosophy of ministry, but refrain from public ridicule-it's inappropriate and others may perceive that you speak for your pastor.
9. If you run a personal Facebook page and your ministry's Facebook page, always double-check which account you're in when posting. All your posts must be above board, but double-checking yourself will prevent an "oops" post. Since Facebook gives you the option to act as your page, watch your likes, comments, and posts looking as if they're coming from your church.
10. Conform to your church's social media policy-always. If your church doesn't have one, consider spearheading the initiative.

Tips for Logo Wear

• Have shirts available for the new volunteers at the orientation meeting. 
• To cover the costs of the shirts, you can charge a nominal fee. The small profit might establish a fund to provide free shirts for those who genuinely can't afford to buy their own.
• Have shirts printed in different colors, but with the same logo and design, for youth volunteers. You'll be capitalizing on youth's desire to belong, and colored shirts are an easy way to identify how many adult volunteers and youth volunteers are in a room. 

Use this experience to help volunteers understand how valuable feedback is.

Show your team an imaginary line. Then give the simple instruction that people must quickly line up in proper order according to the day and month of their birthday-without speaking. Don't give any further instruction.

Those with January and December birthdays usually go to ends of the line. Others get frustrated. After a few minutes, let people talk so they find their place.
Ask:

• What was it like to figure out where you needed to stand without talking?
• What was it like after you were allowed to talk about where to stand?
  
  Say: Without feedback, you didn't know where to stand. The same is true in ministry. We all need feedback to be effective and to be better at what we do.

Adapted from The New Breed by Jonathan McKee and Thomas McKee (Group)

1. Don't use the words need or help. You may be desperate, but you don't want to appear desperate. People aren't drawn to desperation, and they won't line up to get on board a ministry that appears to be in 911 mode. Vision is a magnet; desperation is a repellent.
2. Don't rely on bulletin ads. Bulletin ads won't bring the people you need, and if you run them often, people will train themselves to ignore them.
3. Don't ask your pastor to make a tearful plea from the pulpit. Do not put your pastor in the awkward position of begging for volunteers. It's your job to build your volunteer team.
4. Don't require parents to serve. People should serve in children's ministry because they are passionate about it, not because they're required to. By all means, recommend that receptive parents get involved; but don't coerce.
5. Don't place people where they're not gifted. Don't throw people into rooms just because you need warm bodies in there. If you don't take the time to place people in their sweet spot, they'll burn out and quit.
   
   The bottom line: The proven way to build a volunteer team is one-to-one asks. It takes hard work and personally asking people week in and week out to join your team. We've added more than 1,200 volunteers to our team in the last four years. They didn't come through desperate measures; they came through personal asks. Try it; it works.

Dale Hudson is the children's pastor at Christ Fellowship in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, and is co-author of 100 Best Ideas to Turbocharge Your Children's Ministry (Group).

• Use Clorox® Anywhere Spray on hard toys.
• Use disinfecting wipes to sanitize surfaces such as diaper-changing tables and countertops.
• Use Lysol® disinfectant spray on areas such as door and cabinet knobs, toy chests, or shelves.

Stock Up
Ensure your room is inviting to children and showers them with the welcoming love of Jesus.

• Set out toys so children can immediately sit and play.
• Have supplies for crafts or games ready.
• Make sample crafts ahead of time.

Read Up
Nursery ministry is never just babysitting-it's a foundational time for kids to learn about God. Before Sunday, take time to prepare for the lesson.

• Read the curriculum, and make notes of what you need to do to prepare.
• Pray for each child to soak up God's love.
• Pray for God to transform your heart as you serve his children.
• Practice a "welcome song" that mentions Jesus for toddlers to sing every week.
• Use a variety of teaching methods so kids get to actively explore.
• Think of ways you can informally remind kids of the lesson through play.

Hang Up
You're bound to have specific things to do for preparation and clean-up, such as managing pagers, preparing the check-in system, emptying trash, and picking up stray toys. Hang a checklist by the door to each room so volunteers can adhere to procedures.

**WEB EXCLUSIVE**

Nursery Set-Up Checklist

 Ensure rooms are clean and toys are accessible.

• Review curriculum, set out any supplies you need.
• Check pagers and place them in an accessible location.
• Place nametags and markers by check-in station.
• Place snack boxes on counters in each room.
• Post allergy-alert sign with the day's snack.
• Prepare for snack/beverage needs.
• Plug in bottle warmers.
• Pray for kids with other leaders. 

Nursery Clean-Up Checklist

• Sanitize and neatly put away toys, categorizing so all blocks are together, animals are together, kitchen items are together, and so on.
• Empty trashcans.
• Put away leftover curriculum and supplies.
• Put leftover snacks and pitchers in the supply closet.
• Turn off pager system.
• Place dirty laundry in bin.
• Put clean sheets on cribs as needed.
• Unplug bottle warmers.
• Turn off swings, music player, and other electronics.
• SprayClorox Everywhere Sprayand let dry on hard toys.
• UseClorox Wipesto sanitize surfaces such as diaper-changing tables and countertops.
• Use non-toxic disenfectant for areas such as door and cabinet knobs, toy chests, or shelves.