In a recent review of the "State of Family Ministry" research we conducted this year for Children's Ministry Magazine, our staff was once again intrigued by the dichotomy between how children's ministers rate themselves and how parents rate the children's ministers in efficacy.

Parents give children's ministers an A. When asked, "How would you rate how well your church partners with you as a parent to train your children spiritually?"...43 percent of parents said "very well," 36% said "pretty good." (That's a B.)

Children's ministers give themselves a C. When asked, "How would you rate how well your church partners with parents to train their children spiritually?"...45% said "average," and only 7.5% said "very well."

Why the divide? Why do you think children's ministers have a more negative view of their family ministry effectiveness than parents do?

But I just can't!

Years ago, someone shared this bit of advice with me. When asked if you can do something, and you can't...try saying "I'd love to, but I just can't."

That advice might've come in handy for the pastor who was asked to do my son and his fiance's wedding this summer. My son--who's in the Marines--active duty.

Here was the pastor's response: "I have reservations about how to get the premarital counseling done. I'll think about it but probably not."

Ask me if I can feel good about that response? "I'd love to, but I just can't."

Thought for the day: Don't just think about WHAT you say to folks in your church, think about HOW you say it also.

New research from the North American Mission Board and Lifeway Research reveals that 67 percent of Americans say a personal invitation from a family member would be effective in getting them to visit a church. A personal invitation from a friend or neighbor would effectively reach 63 percent.

Are you factoring in the personal touch to your Easter service invitations this year?

What have you done that's worked?

I got an email from my dear friend Danielle Bell yesterday. She said I'd been in her dream the other night--and I was pretty upset the entire time. So she was just checking in with me.

I had to admit that I have been pretty upset lately. Trying to figure out how to work in one certain area keeps me pretty tied up in knots.

But I also had to remember something my friend Rick Lawrence taught me years ago. (Okay, he's my dear friend, too!) He told me to always remember that "there are no monsters here!" And when working through issues of conflict, that has served me well to focus on the real problems instead of the person. In fact, conflict usually comes from misunderstood expectations or a lack of clear communication.

I'm continuing to grow in my weak areas. But I'm bolstered by the fact that there are no monsters here!

I spoke to my Marine son, Grant, this weekend about how his Marine Combat Training is going. He said he's learning amazing battle strategies for the war in Iraq, but not Afghanistan. I asked him why and he said that they can't train them for what they haven't experienced yet. He said that strategy comes from failure and they haven't fought enough or failed enough to develop the best strategies.

That was very compelling to me. So often, we're afraid to fail, but look at all the lessons we miss!