I asked my daughter if I could blog about this, so since she said yes, here goes...
We just wrapped up Abby's first soccer tourney of the season. And on the way to the first game, Abby said, "I don't care if we lose, but I just don't want to mess up." That was concerning.
Then in the game, to put it bluntly, she messed up. And they lost--6 to 0. (Abby's the goalkeeper and on her watch, she missed all 6 goals.) Now normally, I'm the comforter after the game. I tell her goalies don't win or lose the game on their own--it takes a team to win and lose.
But when she got in the car after this game, she wasn't upset (not that I wanted tears) but she even laughed off that she wasn't upset. That's when "soccer mom" must've kicked in. I told her that in all the years she's been competing, I've never cared more than her. And that concerned me. I reminded her that teams win or lose together, but that she needed to care about how she'd played. And that if anyone on a team that I worked with ever said "I don't care if we lose as long as I look good" that I'd be livid.
The talk worked; there weren't tears, but there was genuine concern before we hit the fast-food place for lunch. And I have to admit that she rocked as a goalie in the subsequent games. They won one, tied one, and lost two. She made some amazing saves, and I didn't have to have "the talk" with Abby again.
I read something recently that I think applies to this. It said something like "while there's no I in TEAM, there is an I in WIN." It does take a lot of people doing their very best and caring about every aspect of the game or ministry or cause to WIN. Teams win or lose together but without all those individuals playing their very best game, there's no way the team is going to win.