I had one of those spacey moments at Sunday school where I couldn't remember a regular kid's name--first or last. And I was doing check-in. The mom and child stood there smiling sweetly while I scrambled mentally--or maybe I was mentally scrambled (I'd only been gone two weeks).

Anyway, I fumbled with the last name in the system. Got it wrong. I couldn't ask! He's a regular! So I said, "Can you hold on a minute? I need to ask Abby something?" I went into the classroom and asked her. She told me with one of those "good grief, Mom" looks. But disaster averted!

So, I thought how do other folks handle forgetting a child's name who's waiting expectantly to be acknowledged. And I asked on our facebook fan page. Here are some of their great answers:

* Use a generic nickname. Names like "sweet potato," Buddy, Sweetie, Girl, Friend, Honey, Mshana Wam (means young man or lady in Zulu), Chickadee.

* Admit it. Sylvia Hagopian says, "I usually blame it on being "old" and then ask their name again. It really is important to them to feel accepted, included and special by having their name remembered so I pray for all of us that we get better at it. It isn't always easy - agh!!!" Vanessa Jones says, "Sometimes I'll do the whole, "Hey sweetie," "Hey dude!" etc thing but if it's a kid I haven't seen in a long time, it's usually not a problem to say, "You know how silly forgetful I am with names! Can you tell me yours again--I won't forget this time!" I've never had a kid get upset--they just usually laugh at me like I'm a dork and go on. Then I'm exrta careful to use their name a lot during the service lol."

* Fake it. Jon Dixon suggests: "Smile and say "Hey! Great to see you!" Add a brief conversation, then after they leave I use my phone to look their name up in our church database if I remember any part of it. If I find them I send a quick "It was great to run into your kid..." email to their parents."

* Play with it. Tina Kirk Fussel says, "With my preschoolers, I tease and say something like , "Do I know you? Oh, that's right. You're Bob (or some other random name like Esmerelda or Zacheaus)." They always start giggling and correcting me."

* Pray. Tina also says, "With the older kids, I'll just start talking to them like I know exactly who they are and pray that it comes to me. It often does."

* Wait. Joni Lum suggests, "I give them a hug and keep talking until I remember their name--lately we've had more visitors from vbs , thx Group :0), so I've had to fake it more than normal."

* Use nametags. Many said that's why they love nametags, because they do forget at times and it's so important for us to know kids' names. Mimi Keeler Leach uses the nametags to find the name with this: "It's really great when I can write them a name tag, or write their name on their paper. Then I ask them, "Can you tell me the letters in your name?" (Of course, this works best with preschoolers or kindergartners, who are just learning how to spell their names.)"

So there you go! If you ever space out on kids' names, try some of these great ideas from my friends on facebook! I know I will!

Every month, our leadership team meets at Thom and Joani's house for breakfast--and Thom makes us amazing meals! Then we take turns leading one another in a devotion.

So, this week Joel (our VP of marketing) led us in a devotion about families. Our families. And then our leadership family. We were asked to consider what we could do to strengthen our bond with our leadership family. Here are three things I came away with:

1. Work on relationships with one another--not just being task-oriented. Take time for coffee and to get to know one another's stories.

2. Don't say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't say in front of the person--not even if it's true but it has a certain tone or sarcasm.

3. Be FOR one another. Competition and comparison lead to icky stuff in families; and they do in companies too. So pray for one another and never secretly hope that an area will do less than the best--just so my area can look better.

I love my Group family! I hope some of these insights help with your church leadership family too!

We spent yesterday in the studio with Dr. Brian Haynes (author of Shift: What it takes to finally reach families today). Brian is also our family ministry columnist for Children's Ministry Magazine.

And...he's the real deal! Brian is the expert voice for the parent-training sessions on our six new Family Faith Celebrations (from Baby Blessing through High School Graduation). We didn't script him. We simply gave him topics to talk about...and then we sat back and marveled.

It was an affirmation that Shift and Family Faith Celebrations flow from Brian's life and heart..and they've been tested in the real-world of his church. As he shared the philosophy and practical encouragement to parents, I was inspired and felt hopeful that it really isn't overly complicated to impact my children's faith. I think all parents will feel the same way as they listen to this authentic Christian man share from his life and ministry.

Learn more about this great resource (coming soon): http://familyfaithcelebrations.group.com/

Ta-da!

That’s my way of telling you that we’ve been working on something so stupendous…so fantabulous…so just-what-you’ve been-hoping-for…and we’re finally ready to unveil it! Are you ready? (I’ve been sitting on my hands to keep from tweeting about this until now!)

It’s the Group KidMin Conference—coming to Chicago from October 7-10, 2011. And you and your team have got to join us!

Yes, it’s a year away, but we want you to prepare now to join us for an amazing time of deeper learning that leads to transformation, authentic conversations that become supportive relationships, and a renewed passion for the God you serve.

Here’s what’s true about our conference.

Jesus is the real “celebrity.” We’re inviting amazing people to speak and lead, but they’re not the “stars.” They’re here to challenge us to grow in our relationship with Jesus as we grow more effective in our ministry to children and families. Jesus is our biggest headliner at the KidMin Conference.

Relationships trump the show. The KidMin Conference facilitates connection more than a staged show. Sure, you’ll get great speakers and musicians, but what happens off-stage is way more important than that. Simply put, we’re all more attracted to, and feel more comfortable in, authentic environments rather than performance-oriented, showy settings. Ministry is about relationships, and this is a ministry conference.

You matter to us. Our KidMin conference is a conference by children’s ministers, for children’s ministers. This is for leaders and volunteers—everyone who ministers to children. When you come to our conference, it’ll be like a giant reunion—with people who love you, support you, and believe in you! We want you to feel known, seen, celebrated, and challenged. And we’ve planned everything with you in mind—we want your team to come away refreshed and renewed.

Learning isn’t about lecture. REAL learning (Relational, Experiential, Applicable, and Learner-Based) is threaded through every facet of our conference. You’ll learn through interactions and experiences—more than you ever would from a long lecture. You’ll find tables in meeting rooms that are more conducive to conversation. We’ve also created places for informal conversations and we’ll formally connect you with a networking group that’s facing the same issues you are. You won’t feel alone at this conference!

Going deeper instead of wider. We’ve formed this ministry experience around 8-hour tracks that dig deeper into a subject so you have the space to really learn. And we’re giving you tons of other workshops to meet more of your specific needs. You won’t worry about how one workshop fits with another because we’ll help you connect the dots. At the end of our conference, we’ll help you put all the pieces together to create a workable plan to use back at home.

So…excited yet? I hope so because we’re really excited to be with you at our first-ever Group KidMin Conference. Don’t wait to sign up because space truly is limited. And we don’t want you to miss out. Go to childrensministry.com/conference to learn more and sign up for updates! See you there!

I messed up last week! It was a classic case of poor delegation!

Here's what happened. I told Reed, 14, that I'd pay him to prune the bushes in our yard. Since he was eager to get started the next day and it was late, I cut a few fronds off the top to show him how much to take off. Then I waved my hand around the bush and told him the rule of thumb is to never cut away more than one-third of the bush.

Next day...I'm on the way home and call him to check in. "Is it OK if the bushes are knee-high?" That was the first sign of trouble. Between my appointment and having to grab Abby to register her for soccer, I got a firsthand look at the much-changed bushes. It made my stomach hurt...and the only word I could think of was "demolished." (It was good I was getting out of there lest I say what was on my mind.) Once I was home again, I vacillated between "it's not your fault" and "oh my gosh!" Poor Reed!

The next day...I owned that I didn't delegate well. And that he's 14 and had never done this before. If I'd had it to do over, I would've modeled for him by completely pruning one of the bushes. Then I would've helped him prune another bush. Once I was confident that he understood, I would've released him. But I didn't do this and this was a classic example of poor delegation.

So has this ever happened to you? Maybe with VBS decor or a big outreach event? You delegate quickly, walk away, and then you finally see what your volunteers are working on...and you're shocked and appalled. Before you say the things that jump to your mind, step away and figure out if you truly provided the best delegation possible. Own your part too! And, like a friend said, know that nothing's fatal...bushes do grow back...and usually things in ministry do too!

(Reed gave me permission to blog about this.) And if you'd like more on how to delegate better than me, check out this article by Jim Wideman at childrensministry.com: "Delegate or Die" http://childrensministry.com/article.asp?ID=899