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The Stress Test

Expert insight on how family, society, and crisis stresses kids -- and their faith.

When we consider kid culture today, we typically tick off evidence of their 21st-century lives -- techie gadgets, media saturation, over-scheduled calendars, and unique family structures. Less often do we think of the internal pressures that are part of kids' daily lives -- what we adults simply call stress-and how that pressure impacts kids' faith formation.

We asked three experts to weigh in on three different types of pressure inherent in kids' lives. Here's what they had to say about family pressure, social pressure, and crisis pressure.

FAMILY PRESSURE

What Kids Wish Their Parents Knew

by Pat Verbal

Ask today's kids what stresses them, and you may expect answers such as taking tests, being picked last for a team, or making new friends. But when I posed the question to 3rd- and 4th-graders, here's what they said:

"My parents are always on me about making good grades."

"I don't really want to play baseball, but it's so important to my dad."

"My stepbrother criticizes everything I do, and I can't be myself at home."

"My parents think they're the Internet cops. They lecture me too much."

Tension at home is high on these kids' list. "Every generation has a generation gap," says Mary Manz Simon, author of Trend-Savvy Parenting. "However, because of the accelerating pace of change, it's possible that more than a mere gap will emerge between parents and children. We're poised on the edge of a societal rift."

This growing chasm may shadow the joys of parenthood with a sense of dread. Parents, sensing the disconnect, constantly ask, "Am I a good parent?" And the answer depends on who they ask-Madison Avenue, school, or the church.

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