Say It With Love


Become fluent in the “love languages” so your volunteers
feel appreciated by you.

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We asked our staff and Children’s Ministry Magazine Live
presenters what their primary love language is — and how someone
made them feel appreciated in that language.

Words of Affirmation
The senior pastor I loved serving with most as a minister
of education was an older gentlemen who used to regularly say to
the congregation while I was in range of hearing: “And aren’t we
grateful to have Wes? Let’s hope he never discovers just how good
he is or he’ll leave us for a bigger church.” I never left for a
bigger church! Wes Fleming

Receiving Gifts
The things I’ve appreciated most have come in the form of
someone appreciating the time I’ve taken from my family and by
making it possible for me to spend fun time with my family. I’ve
received a babysitter when my kids were younger; movie tickets;
gift certificates to dinner somewhere; tickets to a play; and a
card sent to my wife saying thanks for allowing me to take time
away from her and the family. Dave Hoffman

Acts of Service
It was the beginning of the school year (a.k.a. crazy
time!) and I had to have back surgery. I had two weeks notice and
was single with no family to count on here in Memphis…just my
church family. My wonderful leadership team plugged into high gear!
Not only did they do an awesome job of taking care of things while
I was gone, but they came to bring me food, take my dog out, empty
my dishwasher, wash my clothes, and even hold my head when I was as
sick as a dog from the meds! Elaine Friedrich Hall

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Words of Affirmation
I was seriously considering quitting my ministry position,
but then the mother of a child I taught took me aside and thanked
me for investing time and energy into her daughter and for helping
her little girl feel special. “You have no idea what a difference
you make,” this woman said, “and how much Amy looks forward to
coming to church.” Those words kept me in ministry — first on
staff and for the next 20 years as a volunteer. Mikal

Receiving Gifts
Give me something that shows you know me and I’m yours. Most of my
students and faculty peers know I’m hooked on two great loves:
music and Coca-Cola. Consequently, I have Coke bottles from all
over the world, plus plenty of “real thing” memorabilia. I also
receive a lot of free music! Rick Chromey

Words of Affirmation
On my birthday, a dear friend staged a surprise party for me after
the service. The fellowship hall was filled with children and their
families yelling, “Surprise! Happy birthday!” They gave me a
beautiful box filled with notes, drawings, pictures, and cards from
“my kids” and their parents. I pull out that box frequently when I
need a pick-me-up, a good laugh, or a simple smile. Kandi

Physical Touch
When my husband died, one of my pastors told me he was a “safe”
person to hug. And I desperately needed hugs at that time. Whenever
I saw him at church, he would wrap his arms around me and hold me.
I never felt uncomfortable about his embrace, only comforted. Over
time, I needed his hugs less frequently but I will always remember
his touch as a safe comfort for me. Christine Yount

Quality Time
When I was a teenager, I sat in the front of the van on a youth
group road trip. I talked with the youth sponsor for a long time,
and I felt loved and appreciated because he spent time with me and
gave me a listening ear. I was the kind of teenager who seemed to
get passed over because I always seemed like I was doing fine. So
it was really significant to have someone listen to me and care
about my life. Amy Simpson

For more information about the five love languages, go to

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