How To Lose Your Volunteers in 25 Days

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Day 8:
Make bait-and-switch the norm.
Your standard practice must be to recruit volunteers for
one job and then slip them into another role once you have their
commitment. This method really is Old Faithful when it comes to
running off volunteers. Talk up how a position is right up
someone’s alley, then place him in a different area. Your most
effective route with this is to carefully place people in areas
that are either too easy (holding a sign in the lobby announcing
the dates of VBS) or too difficult (running the sound-and-video
booth in kids church with no training). Let your hapless volunteer
know that this is a permanent move. The new position is hers. For.
Ever.

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Day 9:
Ensure a constant supply shortage.
Little frustrates a volunteer more than when the most
basic supplies are nowhere to be had. Find a way to misplace all
the pens and pencils in the ministry. Deliberately fail to stock
rooms with the essential extras called for in the curriculum. If
you really want to frustrate your volunteers, leave handy restock
forms in the room (“My Room Is Missing….”), and then never do
anything with the forms volunteers turn in-except to toss them in
the trash in a highly visible location. Guaranteed success!

Day 10:
Make volunteers do their own setup.
It’s hard enough to find volunteers to actually minister
to kids, let alone find a family or two that can come in 45 minutes
before services to ensure chairs, tables, and other items are
arranged in the right place. So tell volunteers it’s all up to them
to set up their room before kids arrive. Even better, recruit a
handful of teenagers to come in the night before and stash tables
and chairs in other rooms around the church. Think of it as a game
of Hide-and-Seek.

Day 11:
Switch curriculum often and unexpectedly.
Volunteers love consistency. For some kooky reason, they
strive to do better and better each week by really getting to know
the curriculum. To drive them away in droves, announce a curriculum
change no less than once a month. Surf the Internet and download
the cool sample lessons from each curriculum publisher on the
market. Try a different one each week!

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