How To Lose Your Volunteers in 25 Days

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If you’re looking for a sure-fire plan to get rid of all those
annoying, highly energetic, ridiculously loyal volunteers who show
up week after week, we’ve got the lowdown for you. After all,
there’s not a children’s minister out there who wouldn’t give up
his or her left lung to finally shake that clingy entourage of
hangers-on who seem to think they actually have something to offer
in children’s ministry. Simply use one tip a day to virtually
ensure that every last one of your children’s ministry volunteers
will quit in just 25 days or less. (Or don’t do these things and
you’ll have what you’ve always dreamed of: a thriving team of
committed leaders who impact the next generation for Jesus!)

Day 1:
Volunteers are here to serve; make them serve you.

Take a fresh look at your volunteers: They signed up to serve in
your children’s ministry. So don’t spend a lot of unnecessary
energy serving them. Give them plenty of ways to serve you and your
ministry.

Day 2:
Provide zero vision.

You might end up with some long-term volunteers if they know your
long-term vision, so keep that something of a secret. Recruit to
the task, not to the greater vision. For instance, just tell
prospective volunteers that for the 3-year-olds, you just need
“another warm body in the room.” Don’t fill anyone in on the real
purpose for the ministry: helping little ones love Jesus.

Day 3:
Don’t pray for your volunteers.

It’s okay to tell volunteers you’ll pray for them, but don’t
actually do it. Some children’s ministers keep a small notepad or
Evernote on their mobile devices to take down prayer requests, but
be warned: This might actually encourage you to pray for your
volunteers. Don’t be fooled into keeping an updated list of your
volunteers handy; that way you won’t slip into accidentally praying
for each person by name. Most importantly, don’t pause on a Sunday
morning for impromptu prayer with a volunteer in the classroom or
hallway. Not only is this uncomfortable, but it’s also embarrassing
for you, the volunteer, and everyone else who might happen to see
you. Your volunteers might begin to think you actually care for
them.

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