26 questions that'll help you uncover the
expectations that drive you, frustrate you, help you, and hinder
You can't sleep because you're rehashing some emotional loose end
connected to your ministry. Maybe it's grating on you that your
kids didn't exactly track with the Bible study. Maybe you're
worried you missed something at the board meeting-what does
"strengthening the budget through strategic downsizing" mean
anyway? Maybe you're replaying that conversation with Joe-was he
asking for your advice; did he just want you to listen; did you say
too much or not enough or the wrong things altogether?
The culprit responsible for your restless night is named...
Expectations are not the same as goals. You set goals and work
toward them-there's no camouflage here. But expectations are strong
subconscious beliefs about what you and others should, can, and
will do. Expectations can have teeth, especially when they're not
Have you flushed into the open your expectations about your
ministry? Maybe not. Probably not. Now would be a good time. Take
this article and a pen to a quiet place-treat yourself to a
favorite beverage. Then work through the expectation inventory. Be
honest, and this little exercise could transform your
Personal Expectation Inventory
Expectations of Yourself
1. What do you expect to accomplish in your ministry?
2. What circumstances were instrumental in leading you into this
3. What people were instrumental in leading you to this role
(positively or negatively)? Why?
4. Why do you want to work with young people?
5. How long do you picture yourself in your present
6. What duties in your work bring you the most satisfaction?
7. What duties in your work bring you the least satisfaction?
8. How many hours a week do you expect to work?
9. What are your goals for your ministry? What do you want to be
happening three months from now/one year from now/three years from
10. What is it about your job that really irks you? Why?
Expectations of Your Kids
1. Which age group(s) within your ministry do you connect the best
2. Which age group(s) within your ministry do you connect the
least with? Why? How do you intend to deal with this reality?
3. What behaviors do you expect to face with your kids?
4. How important is it that your kids like you?
5. How important is it that you like your kids?
6. How many hours a week do you think your kids expect you to
Expectations of Adults Involved in Your Ministry
1. How do you expect your ministry to integrate into the life of
2. How many hours a week does your supervisor expect you to
3. How many hours a week do church members expect you to
4. What's your definition of appropriate criticism?
5. Can you give this kind of criticism?
6. Can you take this kind of criticism?
Expectations Outside Your Ministry
1. What expectations do you have of your nuclear family regarding
your time constraints?
2. If you are single, what problems do you anticipate because of
3. If you are married, what problems do you anticipate because of
4. If you have kids of your own, what problems do you anticipate
because of your ministry?
Now that you've explored your expectations, you can exercise
control over them. They won't go away-and they won't stop bothering
you-just because you've unmasked them. Dealing with them will
require honesty and self-evaluation on an ongoing basis. Your goal
should be to bring your expectations into line with reality. When
they don't, they grow teeth.
Few children's ministers are skilled or trained to do all that
the job requires. No worries, mate. The One who called you into
ministry is both the Great Physician and the Great Teacher. ™
Joel Lund is a youth minister in Washington state.